Cable-assisted harvesting systems are gaining popularity in the Pacific Northwest. Stewart Professor of Forest Operations Woodam Chung says there are about 20 systems in use in the Pacific Northwest already, and that number is growing.

The systems are undeniably safer than traditional cable yarding systems and manual cutting, because, thanks to mechanized harvesting, cameras and other technology, no one has to be on the forest floor near falling trees.

“One worker sits at the top of a hill with a camera,” explains Graduate Student Preston Green. “He can see where his grapples are and grab the logs at a safe distance.”

Chung says this process eliminates the need for choker setters and fellers – some of the most dangerous jobs in the forest industry.

The technology for cable-assisted harvesting was developed in Europe about 20 years ago, and recently adapted by Oregon State for use on steep slopes in the Pacific Northwest.

Once the tree is cut by a cable-assisted cutting machine, the machine swings and piles the tree along the skyline corridor, where it will be picked up and transported to a mill for processing.

In addition to the safety of the system, Chung is looking at other aspects including soil impact. His research team has already completed two studies on soil impact. He says industry professionals and members of the public perceive large equipment causes soil compaction, but two initial studies, one in the McDonald-Dunn Forest and one on Lone Rock Timber’s land, concluded that, depending on soil types and moisture content, loosening may occur after machine traffic.

“Now the question is, what does this mean in terms of erosion or soil moisture content?” asks Chung. “That’s what we’re looking at now.”

Chung and his team will continue to study interactions between soil, machine and water.

“We will use silt fences to look at erosion and measure the amount of erosion we collect,” Chung says.

Researchers want to learn what kind of impact this erosion might cause on water quality in streams and rivers at the base of logging operations.

Another aspect of the study is the economic impact.

“Cable-assisted mechanized harvesting is more productive than manual cutting, especially on steep slopes,” Chung says, “But the machine is expensive. Timber companies will have to weigh the costs and benefits for themselves and decide how to harvest.”

Green agrees, “If these systems can produce more timber at a reduced cost, then it’s a win-win for everyone involved.”

Construction of the A.A. “Red” Emmerson Advanced Wood Products Lab is underway on the Oregon State University campus. The new lab will add 15,000 square-feet of structural testing space to the Oregon State College of Forestry, which already boasts some of the best technical research facilities in the nation.

A new state-of-the-art space

The laboratory will also be home to a 2,500 square-foot advanced wood products manufacturing area, a flexible demonstration and classroom area and the TallWood Design Institute offices.

“There are a variety of ways research and teaching can intersect in this new space,” says Arijit Sinha, associate professor of renewable materials at Oregon State. “When we complete large-scale tests, we will need an army of undergraduate helpers. It will be a great experiential learning opportunity for students, while at the same time offering us new, world-class capabilities to test buildings at full scale.”

Juliana Ruble, former advanced wood products lab manager and project engineer for Andersen Construction, agrees.

“The new lab will provide space for architects, engineers, wood products manufacturers and researchers to come together and develop new products and new building systems designs,” she says.

A CNC panel processing center will be capable of creating large panels and straight beams as well as curved beams and other, smaller wood products. Another robotic machine will expand architectural fabrication opportunities.

A strong floor for large tests

A 60-by-80-foot strong wall and reaction floor system will facilitate testing of up to three-story wood structures.

The strong floor and accompanying reaction wall are composed of  four-foot thick concrete. Anchors are attached to the floor and wall on a four-by-four-foot grid. Each anchor has a 60-kip capacity for a total of 240 kips for each cluster of four anchor points. The reaction wall is capable of withstanding a 150-kip reaction while the floor can withstand 500-kip compression across a twelve-inch diameter area.

“Our strong floor will be one of the largest related to wood and timber research in the U.S.,” Sinha says. “We will use the floor and reaction wall to test materials and structures. The strong base of the floor mimics a rigid surface during tests.”

Oregon State and TDI researchers anticipate using the facility to conduct seismic tests, connection tests, wall connection tests, loading tests and more.

“We do these tests now on a smaller scale,” Ruble says. “This new facility will more than double our research capacity while increasing our manufacturing research capabilities and our ability to bring in industry, students and stakeholders to learn in an applied research environment.”

Making connections, continuing research

Sinha researches connections within mass-timber buildings, and will continue this work inside the new lab. His current project focuses on nondestructive evaluation of mass-timber by exposing connection materials to extremes of modular and biological exposure on two different species of CLT.

Sinha will also assess how wood buildings react to biological attack including fungi. The research project is funded by the USDA, and the team includes collaborators from Portland State University.

“The results will be incorporated into building codes,” Sinha says. “This project is important because it will tell us how things play out overtime in wood buildings with intrusion of moisture.”

Blank walls in the Richardson Hall knuckle inspired the first College of Forestry art contest in 2017. Temporary walls replaced the connection point to old Peavy Hall, as construction began on the new Oregon Forest Science Complex.

The college’s faculty and staff found themselves scattered throughout other campus buildings including Richardson, Snell and Strand Hall and needed a reason to come together.

The first art contest and show with the theme, ‘The Other Side,’ was held February 17, 2017, and diversity was key to organizers and participants.

All faculty, staff and students were invited to participate, and art mediums chosen were as diverse as the people creating them. The contest saw paintings, sculptures, wood working, photography and more. The pieces were judged by representatives throughout the college and campus.

With the College of Forestry’s commitment to equity, inclusivity and diversity, 2017 also saw the formation of the college’s Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Committee. The college and committee are devoted to addressing DEI issues in the realm of forestry and natural resource management – through education, research and public engagement. The committee will draw fully and inclusively on the power and force of human imagination, experience and creativity to meet the needs of today’s world.

With this in mind, the art show continued in 2018 with the theme of ‘Innovation.’

Assistant Professor Seri Robinson requires students in the art and design option within the renewable materials program to participate in the art show each year.

“It gives the students a chance at expression using media they are familiar with,” Robinson says. “Because they all have a deep science background in wood and forests, they can apply deeper meaning to art created with the art show’s theme in mind.”

Robinson thinks the art shows have been a great success. “We’ve had some really great work submitted,” Robinson says. “And it’s been a great opportunity for students to talk about their feelings about the college climate, especially in terms of diversity, in a more public forum.”

One important task of the College of Forestry’s Office of International Programs is connecting Oregon State students with hands-on learning experiences abroad. This includes internships that provide educational opportunities and practical experience for students.

Shelby Knight, a natural resources student at Oregon State University-Cascades in Bend, gained all of this and more during an internship experience in Chile.

“From a professional-development perspective, I learned how to better navigate language and cultural barriers. I improved my understanding and use of the Spanish language and learned about the Chilean culture.”

Growing up in Central Oregon, Knight fell in love with natural resources, but was never sure exactly what she wanted to pursue as a field of study or career.

“I love that the natural resources major is broad, diverse and offers opportunities to explore different aspects of the natural sciences,” she says. “Since coming to OSU Cascades, I’ve become interested in the interface between humans, human development and ecosystems.”

Through her involvement in the Natural Sciences Club at OSU Cascades, Knight met other students who participated in study abroad opportunities.

“I had no idea that this was even a possibility for me as a Cascades student, and I began to look for opportunities to go abroad through OSU,” Knight says.

She found and applied for a short term, faculty-led study abroad opportunity in Chile. During the application process, she learned about the option to stay behind after the experience to complete an internship.

“I loved the idea of staying in Chile for a longer period of time,” she says. “I chose to intern with Huilo Huilo Biological Reserve because they had a relationship with OSU, and their eco-tourism and conservation model really interested me. Plus, it looked like the most beautiful place to spend two months – and it was.”

Knight worked in the excursions department of the biological reserve where she helped deliver environmental, cultural and outdoor education to guests. She also tracked and mapped ‘illegal’ trails within the reserve, assisting Huilo Huilo with their trail interpretation plan, which will help the organization develop replanting and recovery strategies for illegal trails.

Knight also helped develop a nature-driven children’s program for the Reserve’s called Los Pequeños Exploradores or The Tiny Explorers. This experience inspired Knight to pursue research abroad after graduation.

“I learned a lot about myself by entering an unfamiliar situation,” she says. “I can’t wait to keep learning and exploring.”

Residents of the Western United States are living in a time of change. The forest is stressed from high tree densities, drought, and insect and disease outbreaks. The forest landscape neither looks nor functions as it did before fire suppression efforts began more than a century ago.

In 2017, Oregon experienced one of the worst wildfire seasons on record with more than 700,000 acres burned across the State resulting in ecological, social and economic damage. These damages cost the state of Oregon millions of dollars each year and billions across the nation.

Our forests need help

Oregon State researchers and extension agents have emphasized the need for viable forest management practices to help mitigate the risks and impacts of high-intensity and high-severity fire events.

Enter Daniel Leavell, Klamath and Lake County extension agent and Carrier Berger, extension associate and program coordinator for the Northwest Fire Science Consortium.

Their goal is to affect change when it comes to the unique and complicated nature of wildfire.

The pair are planning a comprehensive way to address fire in Oregon. It’s called the Fire Program. The team believes a sound fire program uses science as a foundation to provide education and outreach to the public, leading to the promotion and strategic use of cross-boundary, landscape-scale restoration and wildfire riskreduction projects.

Getting the work done

A successful fire program works to achieve the goals of the National Cohesive Wildland Fire Management Strategy, which encourages resilient landscapes, fire adapted communities, and safe and effective wildfire response.

Local partnerships are key, including one with the nonprofit group, Klamath-Lake Forest Health Partnership (KLFHP). KLFHP is working with the fire program to implement sound, science-based management across ownership boundaries in Klamath and Lake Counties.

“We collaborated across ownership boundaries to implement forest health treatments,” Leavell says.

“This creates seamless, healthy forest landscapes resilient to disturbance while working with partners to implement work on the ground across private and public lands to achieve objectives.”

Leavell hopes other individuals and communities use this as a model and modify it to meet the needs of their local circumstances.

What’s next?

Leavell and Berger are seeking funding to support the statewide Fire Program. “People are really grabbing onto the concept of this program and what we’re trying to accomplish,” Berger says. “Funding would bolster the program and help us get work done on the ground through our landscape efforts.”

Leavell agrees and believes that partnerships are key in successfully bringing the program to life.

“Oregon State University’s work in this area is critical,” Leavell says. “Together with homeowners, landowners, and land managers (public and private), we can make a real difference and affect management changes that impact the health of our forests and communities.”

Oregon State University is one of two sites for the Wood-Based Composites Center (WBC), an industry and university cooperative research center funded by the National Science Foundation. The other is Virginia Tech University. The two institutions work with academic and industry partners to advance the science and technology of wood-based composite materials. The center completed a number of research projects in FY 2017 and FY 2018 that will lead to wood product innovations and improved performance.

Micron level 3D visualization of adhesive bonds in wood products

For the first time, researchers achieved a true characterization of the micro-structure of adhesive bonds in wood.

Laminated wood products, like glulam beams and plywood, rely on the integrity of adhesive bonds that are only a few microns thick. Adhesives penetrate the porous structure of wood. This project asked the question, ‘does the extent of penetration affect mechanical performance of the final product?’

Fred Kamke, director of WBC and JELD-WEN Chair of Wood-Based Composites Science, says the goal of the project was to observe how adhesive bonds perform when subjected to mechanical loads and moisture, focusing on the analysis on the adhesive bond.

Richardson Chair in Wood Science and Forest Products, John Nairn, created a mathematical model to predict mechanical performance of an adhesive bond based on its microstructure. Kamke and his graduate students collected the 3D microstructure data and used micro and nano x-ray-computed tomography to create 3D digital models of adhesive bonds. While wood is an extremely porous structure that readily absorbs adhesives, the researchers found that as much as 50 percent of the adhesive that penetrates the cell lumens may not contribute to bond strength. However, penetration of adhesive into the cell wall helps to stabilize the bond against the effects of moisture.

“Cell wall penetration improves the moisture durability,” Kamke says. “With this information, adhesive companies can improve their formulations and create adhesives to be engineered for a particular application, saving money for the manufacturers and improving performance of the products.”

Natural formaldehyde emissions from wood

Some adhesives, such as ureaformaldehyde, emit low levels of formaldehyde over their lifetime as they slowly decompose. Modern adhesive formulations and test protocols ensure these levels fall within the acceptable federal guidelines. However, as formaldehyde detection technology improves, the adhesive industry faces pressure to reduce formaldehyde emission levels.

Kamke says there are still many unanswered questions about formaldehyde.

“People wonder if formaldehyde is in their house,” he says. “Can it cause us harm? How much formaldehyde is OK? How low should emissions be? Although we don’t know have all of the answers to these questions, government regulations still need to be met.”

What researchers do know is that many substances, including human bodies, other animals and natural materials like wood, emit low levels of formaldehyde naturally.

Chip Frazier, Virginia Tech professor of sustainable biomaterials, wanted to learn exactly how much formaldehyde pure, natural, virgin wood does emit. The tests showed how formaldehyde levels in different wood species are affected by temperature change, and what formaldehyde levels are derived from wood itself.

“This data establishes a baseline level of source formaldehyde from wood, and will likely have a significant impact on future federal indoor air quality policy and the future of wood-based composite products, because just particleboard and fiberboard production alone is a $1.6 billion industry in the United States,” Kamke says. “This study and the resulting policy changes will have impacts on everyone involved in bonding wood with adhesives, and will have a positive impact on future indoor air quality across America.”

Outreach work continues

The WBC continues to educate the public through traditional classroom and online short courses. Seven online courses were added in 2016.

Kamke says the most popular is a basic course on wood adhesives that’s been running for 15 years.

“Our plan is to add more online courses,” Kamke says. “Enrollment is growing, and we are proud to continue to educate the producers and the public about the wonderful world of wood-based composites.”

Oregon State University College of Forestry Ph.D. Student Pipiet Larasatie doesn’t have her head stuck in her books. She’s a serious learner and researcher, of course, but she’s not just concerned with her own projects. Instead, she’s working hard to make the college community and industry setting more open and inclusive for all.

She began working toward this goal in her home country of Indonesia. After earning her bachelor’s degree, she served as a civil servant in the forestry service and helped develop rural areas for ecotourism opportunities.

After earning her master’s degree in New Zealand, Larasatie was awarded a prestigious scholarship from the Indonesian government – the opportunity to earn a Ph.D. anywhere in the world, as long as the program was highly ranked.

Larasatie chose Oregon State.

“I came here because I wanted to work with Eric Hansen, who now serves as department head of Wood Science and Engineering,” Larasatie says. “All I knew about Oregon State was that Eric was here, and that he has expertise in forest products marketing and innovation, and that’s what I wanted to study.”

Hansen responded to Larasatie’s inquiry about the wood science graduate degree program quickly, despite the 14-hour time difference. “I knew that because he was responsive, it would be easy to build a relationship with him,” Larasatie says.

And it was. Luckily, Larasatie likes living in Corvallis as well.

Since arriving in 2016, Larasatie has already completed one research project about the Pacific Northwest’s public perception of mass timber buildings. What started as a class project became a peer reviewed, published research study, funded by the Oregon Forest Resources Institute, and a presentation to conference participants worldwide.

Larasatie enjoys presenting her work to scientists, industry partners and even members of the public.

“I believe that science should be communicated,” she says. “I don’t want to write a dissertation that only lives in a library archive somewhere. We need to reach a broader audience. We need to let the public know what we’re doing. We shouldn’t limit ourselves, especially because of the digital age we live in now.”

To emphasize this, Larasatie serves as a digital communication coordinator for the Society of Wood Science and Technology and participates in the steering committee for the Western Forestry Graduate Research Symposium, hosted at Oregon State each spring.

“I campaign to my fellow graduate students to get them involved as well,” she says. “I really believe that we all need to practice communicating our science.”

Larasatie also serves on the College of Forestry Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Committee, which strives to make the college a diverse and welcoming environment.

“I felt that participating was the right thing to do,” she says. “It also relates to my dissertation topic.”

Larasatie’s dissertation is still in the research phase. She’s studying gender diversity in the forest sector, in the industry and in higher education.

“Increasing gender diversity is no longer a right thing to do, but becomes a smart thing to do,” she says.

Larasatie’s dream is to become a university professor.

“I like to do research, I like to teach, and I like to mentor young students,” she says. “I also like the university setting. Oregon State, for example, is a hub for international people coming in to reach their dreams. We all have the same goal: to make life better.”

Earning an advanced degree
The Oregon State College of Forestry enjoys a century-long reputation as a leader in forestry research, teaching and extended education. Currently the college has more than 200 graduate students, including 35 international students from all over the world. The college offers graduate degrees in four distinct areas administered by three separate departments. About 75 faculty members teach at the graduate level, and the college employs more than 300 faculty, staff and support personnel.

Graduate degrees offered include Master of Forestry (MF), Master of Science (MS), Master of Natural Resources (MNR) and Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.).

FOREST ECOSYSTEMS + SOCIETY – MF,  MS,  PH.D.
The forest ecosystems and society graduate program develops interdisciplinary thinkers, highly capable scientists and natural resource leaders who are prepared to solve complex problems wherever they exist on the socioecological spectrum.

Students in this program learn to identify and contribute to collaborative solutions in ecology and natural resources-related social science. Students are not limited by mandated curriculum or required study tracks. Instead, faculty and professionals work with students to create their own course lists, program objectives and research projects, allowing students to focus on the skills and knowledge most relevant to their interests.

Students may earn an MF, MS or Ph.D. as they build the skills and knowledge needed for a fascinating career in research, teaching, management policy or outreach.

MASTER OF NATURAL RESOURCES – MNR
The master of natural resources graduate program is an interdisciplinary program designed for natural resources professionals. The 45-credit program is taught entirely online through the nationally-acclaimed OSU Ecampus. The program is offered as a nonthesis option only, similar to the Master of Business Administration (MBA) or MF.

Students in the program develop analytical and problem-solving skills needed to provide workable solutions for complex natural resources challenges and learn how to balance competing economic, health and environmental interests.

Graduates of this program enjoy virtually unlimited career opportunities in natural resources management, ranging from GIS experts and water conflict managers to wildlife habitat specialists and environmental policy analysts.

SUSTAINABLE FOREST MANAGEMENT – MF,  MS,  PH.D.
The sustainable forest management graduate program emphasizes the conservation of forest-dominated landscapes to meet ecological, economic and social criteria over long time frames through active forest management.

Students in this program may earn an MF,  MS or Ph.D., and can specialize in one of six areas of concentration: forest operations planning and management; forest policy analysis and economics; forest biometrics and geomatics; silviculture, fire and forest health; forest soil and watershed processes; or engineering for sustainable forestry.

The sustainable forest management graduate program provide graduates with the foundation for excellent career opportunities throughout industry, higher education, government and nonprofits.

WOOD SCIENCE – MS,  PH.D.
The Department of Wood Science and Engineering at the Oregon State College of Forestry offers a graduate education fully engaged in the dynamism and diversity of a rapidly evolving international field. Its wood science graduate program is fundamentally collaborative in nature and offers MS and Ph.D. degrees in a wide range of specialties, from chemistry to business.

Dual graduate degrees are encouraged. Common partner disciplines include civil engineering, mechanical engineering, materials science or forest science.

The demand for energy and thousands of consumer and industrial products made from wood and other renewable materials continues to grow as society becomes more aware of sustainability and green issues. The wood science program provides the foundation for great careers.

GRADUATING OUR FUTURE LEADERS
Educating the future research, teaching and outreach leaders in forest landscapes and ecosystems, the college awarded 102 graduate degrees in FY 2017 and FY 2018.

PARTNERSHIP IDENTIFIES TALENTED GRADUATE STUDENT CANDIDATES
In December 2017, an initiative for recruitment of Native Americans for the college’s graduate forestry programs was developed, funded partially by the department with a supplemental Graduate Laurels Block Grant. A committee including Bureau of Indian Affairs, the Intertribal Timber Council, the USDA Forest Service, and Salish-Kootenai College assisted in identifying potential graduate student candidates. Four Native American students were selected for admission in Fall 2018 and offered these tuition support awards. These students represent 23 percent of the fall 2018 class of forestry graduate program students.

FELLOWSHIPS PROVIDE AFFORDABLE OPPORTUNITIES
• The Dean’s Investment Fund funded two $30,000 matches to the Provost’s Distinguished Doctoral Fellowship, awarded in FY 2017 and FY 2018. The college also awarded more than $200,000 in graduate fellowships in FY 2017 and FY 2018, with a portion of funds coming from the Dean’s Investment Fund.
• With the goal of recruiting and retaining graduate students based on diversity and/or academic merit, the college awarded and administered $140,000 in tuition scholarship funding as part of the Graduate Laurels Block Grant from the OSU Graduate School.

SHARING GROUNDBREAKING RESEARCH
Organized by graduate students, the college hosted the fifth and sixth annual Western Forestry Graduate Research Symposium. The symposium showcases current graduate student research and promotes academic excellence by challenging students to present their work and receive feedback from their academic and professional peers. In 2017 and 2018, the symposium showcased more than 80 combined poster and oral presentations.

How long have you been at Oregon State?

I’ve been here 20 years. I’ve worked in the College of Forestry and the College of Agricultural Sciences. I moved back to the College of Forestry for good in 2006, and I’m currently the administrative manager for the department of Forest Ecosystems and Society.

What’s your favorite part of your job?

The people. That’s why I came back to the college. Everyone is very friendly and fun to laugh with. We had so much fun at the college’s holiday party this year.

 

What do you do outside work?

I like to go camping all year long, ride four wheelers and travel.

Where are some of your favorite spots?

My latest trips were to Yellowstone and Grand Tetons National Parks, and also to Arizona. I like to see new things.

 

Are you a native Oregonian?

Yes. I’ve lived here my whole life and graduated from Philomath High School. I don’t think I’ll ever leave. My kids are here and my new granddaughter.

What’s your favorite food?

Mexican food!

 

How do you unwind after work?

I play a lot of mindless Facebook games.

 

If you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what would it be and why?

Probably vacuuming my long-haired cat’s hair.

 

What is your favorite part of the holidays? 

Probably just spending time with my kids and laughing together.

 

You have a lot of bears in your office. What’s that about? 

I collect bears! I like them because they seem so soft and cuddly, not that I’d like to run into one in the wild!

Breeka Li Goodlander spent her childhood traversing the St. Croix River Valley in Minnesota on the way to her grandparents’ house. Cut from glaciers, the placid river is surrounded by oaks and maples, and Goodlander found its beauty fascinating.

In high school, she began to explore the idea of turning her love for the natural world into a career. During an AP environmental science class, she earned college credit taking soil and water samples near her high school.

Goodlander decided to attend the University of Minnesota, but was more excited about her internship for the Minnesota Pollution Control Agency, which allowed her to further explore her love of the environment.

Looking for a better option

“After two years, I had the opportunity to work full time for the state, so I started looking for more flexible learning opportunities,” Goodlander says.

She found Oregon State’s Ecampus on a list of top distance learning programs. OSU Ecampus is consistently ranked in the top 10 in the nation by U.S. News and World Report.

“I sent a random email to an advisor, and I was really impressed with how welcoming and prompt she was in responding to me even though I wasn’t a student yet,” Goodlander says. “The advisor answered all of my questions about transferring and doing a degree completely online. If not for her, I might not have applied to Oregon State.”

Goodlander found her student experience “liberating,” thanks to the flexibility. She says connecting with her professors was easy, and she fit her studies into her schedule during lunch breaks and after work.

“My favorite class was restoration ecology because we got to come up with a practical plan,” Goodlander says. “It was the first assignment I ever earned 100 percent on. It gave me the confidence to keep working hard.”

“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never work a day in your life.”

Mark Twain’s quote rings true for Goodlander in her new position as a natural resources scientist for Pinnacle Engineering, Inc. She applies what she learned at Oregon State and spends her days exploring wetlands and writing reports about her observations.

“For example, I might be on site and notice a certain area is in the path of a butterfly migration, so it needs to be noted so that planned construction in the area doesn’t interfere,” Goodlander says. “I feel like I’m really making a difference. The people I work with are very like-minded, and it’s a field I really enjoy.”

She says that during the hiring process for her current position, her employers were impressed with the experience she was able to gain while in school.

“My position required three to four years of experience, and without Ecampus, I wouldn’t meet that requirement,” Goodlander says.

“I also made so many professional contacts while I was going to school and working that I wouldn’t have made otherwise.”

What’s Next

Goodlander’s employer is supportive of her completing graduate work, and there are several Oregon State options she’s interested in.

“Right now, I’m working on a certificate in wildlife management, and I hope to apply that to either a master of science or a master of natural resources degree.”

For now, she recommends OSU Ecampus to anyone looking for a flexible educational experience. Goodlander says her ultimate goal is to own her own wetland area.

“I would love to have my own space and open a wildlife rehabilitation facility,” she says. “I’ve always found the natural world very grounding. To me, it is what is real. It gives me inner peace.”