This is a story that goes along with “Ali & Alyssa’s Chili Recipe” because this happened one of the times that we all went out to my parent’s farm for chili and homemade apple pie (I’m saving this recipe for later, it’s a huge favorite of all of my friends). Ali, at the time, was a poor little freshmen, city girl from Woodbridge, California and coming to Oregon State University was probably a little bit of a culture shock for her. Especially because she spent a lot of time with me, a very “home grown, country” kind of kid. Alyssa Martin and I have played basketball together since the summer after my Junior year of high school at our club team, Clutch Players, in the Tualatin area (around Portland for those of you who aren’t familiar with Oregon cities). Ryley was one of my roommates at the time and was a country boy from a small town called Milton-Freewater; trust me, you’ve probably never heard of it. If you are curious just google “Milton-Freewwater Frogs”, yes Frogs. They are a big deal there!
Ryley and I had arrived at the farm before Ali and Alyssa. He had never seen my dad’s aerial application biplane so I took him around back. My father, being my father, had just skinned a deer and it was hanging in the back of the shed by the plane. Ryley immediately started dying of laughter, “This is way too easy!” I looked at him funny. “I’m going to get Ali with this,” he said with a chuckle. I just started laughing.
Back by the garage when Ali and Alyssa showed up Ryley went off on some tangent that basically got him to go show Ali something on the other side of the shop. I think his story had to do with the Oregon Trail, he had told her that she could see the wagon ruts at the back of our property. This was a white lie; you can see the wagon ruts through my neighbors property, just not ours. He took her around back all the while having a complete conversation with her. Alyssa looked at me funny while they were walking away. As soon as they were out of ear shot I told her about the deer carcass hanging up. Alyssa shuddered, “No thank you! I’ll pass on that!” Then she started chuckling because she knew how scarred poor city-kid Ali was going to take this.
About that time my mom pulled up in front of the drive from out running errands in town. She jumped out and started talking to us, asking Alyssa how she was, how the family was, etc. Mid-conversation we hear this blood-curdling scream. Absolutely, bone-chilling scream. My poor mom’s eyes got SO BIG! She had no idea what was going on! Alyssa and I were already laughing so hard that we were crying and weren’t able to get coherent speech out in order to be able to tell her what was going on.
Then we see Ali marching around the corner of the shop, very angry. She was followed by Ryley who was laughing so hard he was crying. Ali didn’t stop when she got to us, she just continued straight into the house. Ryley, on the other hand, told us how he played it out. Apparently he had kept her distracted, spinning this Oregon Trail story about our family arriving on it, etc. Since it was dusky outside, he was able to get her right up until she was right next to it. Then he switched to her other side so she was right next to the carcass. Then he said, “By the way, Katie’s dad is a serial killer, so I wouldn’t piss him off.” Calmly he gestured at the skinned deer… that did look freakishly like a human in the dark.
That is when Ali screamed.
To this day she won’t forgive us for it. Especially since we also “got her” unintentionally by using ground deer meat in the chili. Once she found out you could tell that she was having a huge internal battle; eat deer or eat the very good chili. In the end, the chili won out, and that is a big feat undue itself.
Check out Ali, Alyssa and Oregon State Women’s Basketball as they battle it out in the Pac-12 Conference this year!