When was the last time you just sat? Stared out the window at the clouds? Strolled outside without your phone? If we can’t remember or feel like we don’t have time to do that, it means we need more time just to be. This article is your permission slip.
Practice
It seems that we shouldn’t have to practice being present, but the constant bombardment of endless demands taxes our attention. Setting aside a bit of time to slow down and focus on one thing – maybe your breath – getting distracted and coming back to your breath over and over is exactly the muscle we need to strengthen. Regular-ish meditation practice will help, but every time you can remember to refocus, you are practicing. Try the raisin meditationshared by Elena Aguilar. It’s just a short 3-minute meditation, and you get to eat! Karen Maezen Miller suggests setting a timer to help us focus on one thing at a time. We can limit our distractions by only going on social media until our timer goes off, or decluttering the kitchen counters for 5 minutes without getting pulled in another direction. We are practicing staying present.
Move
It is easy to get caught up in our thoughts. Moving our bodies and tuning in to what that feels like can give our minds something else to focus on, allowing us to release our thoughts. Linda Graham writes, “Any time you move your body and shift your posture, you shift your physiology, which, in turn, shifts the activity of your autonomic nervous system. Therefore, you can use movement to shift your emotions and your mood.” Yoga encourages us to connect our breath with our postures. Taking a short walk can also break up our patterns. Ideally, we would leave our phones behind, listen to the sounds around us, and take in the sights. Subtly shifting our posture – standing up if we’ve been sitting, or vice versa – and taking a couple of stretches, such as calf raises, can also help us become aware of our physical bodies and remind us to listen to what they need.
Single Task
We have heard that multitasking slows us down, but I still get sucked into the belief that I can do multiple things, or at least switch back and forth easily. While researching and writing this article, I was interrupted by my children, texted a friend because I remembered it was her birthday, and deleted some emails as they arrived, among other distractions. I imagine this feels familiar. Limiting distractions can help. “This may mean seeking out a quieter place to work, switching your phone off, and turning off notifications and alarms,” suggests Kendra Cherry. Using a timer, as suggested above, helps me stay attuned to one task at a time. When I have a limited number of minutes to do something, I can better maintain my focus.
“Sometimes it’s necessary to pause the ‘doing’ and sit with the ‘being; to really build and strengthen the connections with yourself and others in your world,” writes Pam Willsey. When was the last time you just sat? Stared out the window at the clouds? Strolled outside without your phone? If we can’t remember or feel like we don’t have time to do that, it means we need more time just to be. This article is your permission slip.
Resources
Bodyfulness by Christine Caldwell, PhD
The Gift of Presence by Caroline Welch
How to Live Series by Thich Nhat Hanh
The Power of Showing Up by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Resilience by Linda Graham
By Megan McQueen.
Spanish translation by Dr. J Senior Consulting, LLC
Megan McQueen is a warmhearted teacher, coach, consultant, and writer. She grounds her work in empathetic education, imparting a strong sense of community and social skills to those with which she works. Megan prioritizes emotional learning and problem solving skills. When not at work, she is most likely playing with her husband, two children, and pup.
Learn more about the Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative and read our blog!
