We know that your love for your kid is indescribable. At the same time, we can be exasperated by their seeming constant high energy or forgetfulness.
If you are parenting a child with a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, or if you are noticing your child has symptoms, you may be wondering what you can do to support them. Understanding that their brain works differently can help you have more compassion for their experience and patience as you navigate home life together.
Understanding ADD and ADHD
Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are brain conditions that manifest in different ways but are often categorized by inattention (but sometimes hyperfocus) and difficulty controlling behavior.
People with ADD or ADHD usually feel frustrated at forgetting things, losing items, or being late. They sometimes think that life seems easier for most other people as they struggle.
Many people with ADHD are highly creative and can hyperfocus on a project they are excited about. They are often resilient and great conversationalists. Learning more about these conditions will help you support your child and help them understand how their brain works.
Parenting Tips
We want to focus on the positive with our kids so they feel we are in their corner instead of pointing out when they have missed the mark. We can help build social skills by reminding kids to listen well without interrupting and ensuring everyone has a turn to contribute to the conversation.
Building routines and organizational strategies will support our kids as they move toward adulthood. A WebMD article suggests breaking tasks into smaller steps that they can check off.
Angela Duckworth writes for Character Lab to “Notice when they plan ahead: ‘Great job getting all your stuff organized!’ Appreciate ingenuity in navigating self-control dilemmas: ‘Keeping your cell phone in a different room is such a clever idea!’
Treatment Options
We are not medical doctors, and each person is different. We encourage you to talk at length with your medical provider to find the best options for your family.
You may want to consider communicating with your child’s school so they can implement accommodations to support your student as well. Some of these are simple, such as offering immediate feedback. Others may need documentation to help, such as additional time for tests.
These supports may be crucial to have in place as your student ages and possibly attends college or university classes. Your child may qualify for a 504 plan if your student’s learning is affected.
Hold on to the unconditional love you have for your child. Surround them with that and help them break down any shame they might be feeling about this difference.
Understanding the brain better may help you build patience to greet your child with love. It is not a problem or something wrong with them. Help them see the strengths they have and the joy they bring to your family.
Resources
ADHD is Awesome by Penn Holderness and Kim Holderness
Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)
Helping Kids with Behavior Struggles – An OPEC blog post
Mindful Parenting for ADHD by Dr. Mark Bertin and Ari Tuckman, PsyD
Raising Girls with ADHD by Mary Anne Richey
By Megan McQueen.
Spanish translation by Dr. J Senior Consulting, LLC
Megan McQueen is a warmhearted teacher, coach, consultant, and writer. She grounds her work in empathetic education, imparting a strong sense of community and social skills to those with which she works. Megan prioritizes emotional learning and problem solving skills. When not at work, she is most likely playing with her husband, two children, and pup.
Learn more about the Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative and read our blog!
