I’ve been an educator for decades, and the back-to-school times are still filled with excitement. I love the “fresh start” energy and the anticipation of meeting new students and families. I love the routines and the new school supplies. Not all children and families share my feelings, of course. We can make this transition time a bit gentler and more optimistic for all.
First Time in School
Attending school for the first time is a milestone for all! Leading up to the big day, families often wonder what they can do to help ensure their child is prepared. If your child has attended day care or preschool, they already have great experiences away from home, and are building their social skills!
Your child might have some expected anxiety about the specifics of a new school. Many schools offer open houses, which are a great opportunity to look around and meet the teachers. Visiting the school playground in the summer is a fun way to help your child feel more comfortable before the big day. Sesame Street has 5-minute podcast episodes about school that your child may enjoy.
Speak about the school positively and with excitement. If you are feeling nervous, talk to other families or neighbors about their experience, but try to do so out of earshot of your child, so they don’t pick up on your fears.
Reading The Invisible String (In Spanish) might help your child manage worries about missing you while at school. Some children also like having a picture of their family in their backpacks or a small daily ritual to ease the transition.
Help support your child’s independence skills, such as buttoning their pants, washing their hands properly, and zipping their coat.
One of the most important things you can do to prepare your child academically is to read together! Make a routine that involves books and keep it joyful. Snuggle up, slow down, and enjoy. Use a silly voice and say “yes” when your child asks to reread the same book. For especially wiggly kids, read to them when they are contained, such as at lunchtime or while traveling.
Transition Years
As a parent, I noticed some anxiety in my kids as they were transitioning to new schools (middle school, high school, etc.). These are big changes for them!
Invite conversation with your child to give them an opportunity to share their feelings. As with young children, if you have hesitations or nervousness, find an outlet for those feelings outside of discussions with your child. You might want to begin by sharing how you felt when you started a new school or working at a new job. My kids would worry about getting lost and being late to class. I reassured them that teachers expect this and will help them find their way.
Most schools offer a time to visit and walk around the school to find classes and lockers. These visits can do much to ease first-day jitters. It might be helpful to find some activities to look forward to as well. Are there school clubs your child can join? Maybe it’s as simple as packing a favorite treat in their lunch or a promise of a fun event on the first Friday night.
Transitions also often mean more independence for children. Before school started, my kids and I would brainstorm after-school routines to structure homework time, snack, activities, and downtime. Dr. Jane Wong, a neuropsychologist, recommends (In Spanish) that children with ADHD or other attention issues might benefit from a wiggle seat during homework time to help improve focus.
General Tips
All of us might need support to get back into school-day routines. Sharing a schedule so all family members are aware of plans can be helpful. My kids have benefited from a “run-through” of our mornings, so we all know how long everything takes, and they know the routine.
Younger kids may want pictures of plans (a school bus for bus days or a bike for when they’ll bike home), and you can use a template like this one from PBS Kids. Older kids may use a shared digital calendar so they’re aware of after-school activities or fun sleepovers to look forward to.
Preparing for the change in routine is just as important for the adults. Before the school year starts, consider carving out a little extra space in your schedule to make time for busier mornings or for emotions that need tending in the evenings. Expect that there may be big feelings in the house. Where possible, ensure that everyone is getting enough sleep and eating nutritious foods. I always have to adjust my own sleep schedule in the week before returning to school.
Starting a new school year is an exciting milestone! Celebrate the beginning and your child’s bravery with this new step. As adults, we can model steadiness and care through this transition. Our emotions will be contagious. Our confidence and compassion will help our children find the best in these new situations and offer problem-solving support as needed.
By Megan McQueen. Spanish translation by IRCO’s International Language Bank.
Megan McQueen is a warmhearted teacher, coach, consultant, and writer. She grounds her work in empathetic education, imparting a strong sense of community and social skills to those with which she works. Megan prioritizes emotional learning and problem solving skills. When not at work, she is most likely playing with her husband, two children, and pup.
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