March is Developmental Disability Awareness Month. The CDC includes autism, cerebral palsy, ADD/ADHD, intellectual disabilities, hearing loss, vision impairment, and developmental delays under the “umbrella term” of developmental disabilities.
Basically, any impairment of physical, learning, intellectual, or behavioral areas are included in this label. This broad definition expands my thinking about who might describe themselves as developmentally disabled.
As parenting educators who serve the public, we will have families that have developmental disabilities. Both caregivers and children who are living their lives with these disabilities will need our deeper understanding of their life experiences to feel supported.
We don’t need to know everything about their specific impacts, but the more we can express compassion and openness, the better our relationships and engagement will be. Let’s take some time to learn more together.
Autonomy
Everyone deserves the power to make decisions that impact their lives. When living with a disability, some of this autonomy is often lost.
Job opportunities may be limited, housing and travel may be impacted, and mobility and physical needs may take significance when selecting activities. Caretakers and medical professionals might make judgments about the best options. As Thelma T. Green advocates, a woman with a disability advocates, “The doctors [and others] need to take a step back and take time to listen to the people, because everybody can’t talk verbal like me, or can’t talk that fast.”
One of the most crucial points to remember is to ask people what they want. We are experts in our own preferences and needs, and should be listened to. Vulnerabilities are not to be feared!
Connect with Services
Families with disabled members will probably be in frequent contact with their medical providers and local offerings. As parenting educators, we can help create a community of support beyond what medical doctors can recommend. We can cultivate friendships, suggesting support networks, informal meet-ups among classmates, and other “soft” services.
Attending parenting education classes can build caregivers’ capacity to cope with their own disability and/or their children’s. We can display or recommend books or websites (see below for some resources to get started) that may be valuable to all the classmates for a better understanding of the disability. Our OPEC blog has many posts about specific disabilities that may be helpful to read for us and for families.
Self-Compassion and Self-Regulation
All of us need to offer ourselves gentle self-compassion, especially as we navigate challenging caregiving situations. Teaching children self-regulation games and mindfulness skills might provide families with tools to offer gentle support. Consider starting and ending your classes with one of these practices.
Care for yourself as well. We will stumble and make mistakes as we don’t know all the specifics that a family will need. As a classroom teacher, I had a student who used a wheelchair. After meeting with the family before school started, I realized the child could not easily maneuver to all areas of the classroom.
I felt horrible that I hadn’t given enough thought to this, but I remembered to talk to myself as I would to a close friend, and quickly spent some time rearranging furniture. We can learn from our missteps and make more inclusive choices in the future.
When we center relationships, we can hold compassion for our families. We can learn from them and with them as we personalize our classes a bit to help everyone feel welcome and connected.
Resources:
National Association of Councils on Developmental Disabilities
Oregon Child Development Coalition – supports in English and Spanish
FACT Oregon – supports in English and Spanish
Picture books:
Benji, the Bad Day, and Me by Sally J. Pla, illustrated by Ken Min (Spanish Version) (autism)
Emmanuel’s Dream by Laurie Ann Thompson, illustrated by Sean Qualls picture book (physical disability)
I Talk Like a River by Jordan Scott, illustrated by Sydney Smith (communication)
Listen by Shannon Stocker, illustrated by Devon Holzwarth (deafness/hearing)
Middle Grade:
A Boy Called Bat by Elana K. Arnold (Spanish Version)(autism)
As Brave As You by Jason Reynolds (vision)
Show Me a Sign by Ann Clare LeZotte (deafness/hearing)
Young Adult:
Breathe and Count Back From Ten by Natalia Sylvester (physical)
On the Bright Side by Anna Sortino (deafness/hearing)
Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde (autism)
Where You See Yourself by Claire Forrest (physical)
Adult books:
The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store by James McBride novel (deafness)
How Can I Talk if My Lips Don’t Move? By Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay (autism)
Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm (Spanish Version) (autism)
Year of the Tiger by Alice Wong
By Megan McQueen.
Spanish translation by Dr. J Senior Consulting, LLC
Megan McQueen is a warmhearted teacher, coach, consultant, and writer. She grounds her work in empathetic education, imparting a strong sense of community and social skills to those with which she works. Megan prioritizes emotional learning and problem solving skills. When not at work, she is most likely playing with her husband, two children, and pup.
Learn more about the Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative and read our blog!
