So I think I’ll start off by saying that I am writing my final yet very late blog post from Kawasaki, Japan. It’s currently 6:41 in the morning and my jet lag has still not adjusted itself. I got here three days ago and it’s been quite the culture shock. After leaving Oregon, I drove and stayed in Santa Cruz for two days, then I drove back home to Redlands where I stayed for a week, until going to San Diego for a night before leaving for Japan. This rapid change in scenery and cultures that’s occurred in the last week and half has me a bit discombobulated, making my time in Oregon feel like it was a year ago rather than a week. Being here in Japan especially, where the only things I can say to anyone is “Konichiwa” and “Arigato,” really make me appreciate the fact that I was living in a place where I could actually communicate with its members of society. So this final blog post is dedicated to those members of Oregon’s South Coast that I befriended during my 10 weeks and the knowledge I gained from them about something my knowledge is a bit rusty on: relationships.

I think it’s fairly obvious that older people are full of experience and knowledge about many subjects, sometimes with wisdom, sometimes without. It’s been a while since I was in a real relationship myself so whenever I get the chance to connect with the older generation I make it a point to observe them and ask about their love life if they’re comfortable discussing it. I spent my free time with more “old” people than people my age this summer so I will tell you some of the advice they imparted upon me and what I learned through observing them with their significant other. I would prefer to give a more detailed account about the event where each person gave me advice because I think it gives the advice context and depth but in order to preserve anonymity I will just list the things that I learned from all these good ole geezers.

• Find someone with similar interests with you. Whether it’s something like bird photography or yoga or any other niche little thing, I think having someone you can share these unique experiences and interests with is important.
• A person who you can laugh with is truly sweet or as one person put it, “someone you can talk sh*t to.” The two people who told me about this one would just clown on each other constantly and both would just laugh about it afterwards. The world seemed lighter being around them and their banter.
• Now this one was a bit more explicit but someone who you can link up with in bed in a cooperative and positive manner is apparently very important.
• Be real. Don’t try to be the cool guy. Know what you’re feeling and say how you feel.
• Find someone where you genuinely love the person that they are. 
• “Realize that all the sh*t you think is big in your twenties is little minor sh*t when you look back on it in your thirties.” Ex: “He wants to hang out with his friends tonight. Back then I would freak out and be all upset but now I’m like pushing him out the door to do it.”
• Get your heart broken as much as possible. As tough as it is in the moment, looking back on it you’ll realize it’s the times you grew most as a person and learned the most about yourself.
• Don’t forget your friends in a relationship. You should never have to ask for someone’s permission to hang out with your friends, especially not your significant other.
• “The second marriage is usually the right one.” (ain’t that encouraging?)
• Cherish the times you have away from that person. That’s the time you have to do something for yourself, like watching TV where you’re the one in control of the remote.
• Find someone who you want to take care of. People don’t stay healthy forever and being with someone whom you genuinely want to care for is special
• “Acknowledge and accept that every relationship is f***ed up.” Relationships are hard and they require work from both parties in order to succeed.