Want to send a personalized message to someone on LinkedIn? Click the Connect button, and optionally add a message to explain how you know each other.
But wait a second – they have 500+ connections. How can I possibly stand out of the crowd and get their attention? Short answer: don’t.
I don’t know about you, but if I answered all my messages, I would never get anything done. At least, not in the real world. My account would be teeming with hearts and thumbs-ups for all my ‘wonderful accomplishments’, when in reality, I’m sitting in bed all day with my thumbs glued to the phone and about to cry because I forgot to say good morning AND goodnight to my roommates.
The truth is, social media accounts only go so far. Even so, just about every career development workshop I’ve been to primarily focused on building a social media presence online.
Don’t get me wrong — this personally helped me practice how to communicate effectively to a general audience, but it only goes so far, especially when I’m just talking about myself all the time on LinkedIn, GitHub, TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram.
Boorrinnngg.
Instead of talking about myself by myself, the first step to making connections without social media is:
1. Ask People What They Like to Do
People love talking about themselves. And I don’t care how boring they think their life is, because the truth is, everyone has a story to tell.
Every time I meet someone new, I ask about what they like to do. This includes what their profession is, their hobbies, pets, and what they want to accomplish in the future.
By coming up with a few questions beforehand, the conversation will naturally take off. This is best over coffee, playing a board game, waiting for the bus, conference booths, or literally in the elevator (happened to me the other day)!
The biggest takeaway is to give people the space to tell their story. This is time best spent not trying to get something from them. This is the time to care. Let’s face it — the world is a better place when someone cares.
But what about career fairs?
Everyone told me to attend a career fair, talk to someone, shake their hand, reach out later on social media, cross my fingers that they like me and get a job offer. Pure. Manipulation. I’ve decided that’s not my style, although it took me 206 college credits and 3 career fairs to figure that one out.
In my opinion, online reputations and career fairs don’t have to be the primary focus. I like to remember that everything I put online (similar to the clothes I wear for the day) is a reflection of what happens in real life. Not everyone posts that way, but that’s my style. So if I put more energy into giving to the real world, the online reflection grows brighter, and the real-life connections I make are deeper.
Therefore, online and offline interactions are equally important. I proved this myself with the following evidence.
- In the past three months, I have instructor Bill Pfeil from CS 461 to thank for supporting my three wonderful teammates in building a web-based educational fire simulator using Discord text & audio channels.
- I have the crew at Cloud Native Computing Foundation (CNCF) to thank for inviting me to teach Minecraft modding to eager kids in Salt Lake City at KubeCon.
- I have Cassandra Chin to thank for wanting to help me start writing a new children’s book for the first time after meeting with her at the conference.
- And I have my Mom, Melissa McKay, for helping me meet new people, brainstorming, and reminding me to have fun.
All of these amazing people and opportunities would not be in my life without interacting with people both online and offline.
Step 2: Show Up In-Person to Something
Whatever you do, do not stay inside all day! There is a big world out there to explore, and every day spent inside is one day less of giving to others.
I’ve found that I thrive the most when I focus on how to lessen the suffering the others in one way each day. Full transparency: I learned this tip from a Masterclass taught by Neil deGrasse Tyson back in COVID-19 pandemic days.
Anyways, this can range from giving someone a granola bar to fixing a line of code on an open source project. But the more in-person that component is, the better.
For me, this comes in the form of teaching, but conferences, meetup groups, workshops, club meetings or even mentoring a cousin on mathematics for an hour are all ways to build a strong in-person community.
By getting to know people in the local community, I’ve been able to learn what people care about, why they do what they do, and what they want to learn. Sometimes I make an industry connection when I am least expecting it at events like these.
The most important part is to be yourself and learn what makes your community excited and happy.
Is it time to forget social media entirely?
No! However, it is easy to only post about how great I am. Ugh.
I always ask myself why I’m posting something, and question what the benefit is. Am I bragging about my accomplishments? Or am I shouting out someone who deserves recognition? Does my post provide something helpful for someone who reads it?
When a post is only about how cool someone is, viewers can lose trust, feel bad about themselves, and scroll endlessly in everyone’s daunting success.
I don’t think that’s very fun.
Step 3: Post What You Learned from Someone Recently Online
I’ve found that the best posts are sharing what I learned with someone or giving them recognition for an accomplishment. For example, I recently made a post on LinkedIn about teaching Minecraft modding in Salt Lake City. I focused on sharing the purpose behind the event, a link to the tutorial so that anyone can learn the code, and gave a shoutout to everyone who made it possible. In the result, the post lifts other people up, gives a free resource away, and helps others outside of the community learn why the event is helpful for society as a whole.
While accomplishments are great for building credibility, helpful interactions are great for building a rich community.
Now what?
Mistakes will happen in the networking process, and that’s okay! Just keep walking forward. With persistence and a sprinkle of creativity, it’s easier to make connections offline with online components that don’t take over your life, whether that’s for an interview, friendship, or building your own professional network.
