“Chase Your Passion”
Coming out of high school, I remember very specific advice from multiple people that ultimately boiled down to 2 points:
- Pick a job that’s employable and you’ll get paid decent
- Pick a field that interests you
Combining these two points helped guide me towards aerospace engineering. I never truly found a “passion” I just thought it was the most interesting form of engineering at the time when I switched out of physics after looking at the job prospects without attending grad school or combining it with other skills (like programming). While I learned to like some of the material, I for the most part felt indifferent to the classes, thinking once I entered the workforce I might find my niche and finally feel happy with the technical challenges.
I’ve been able to work on the aircraft production floor and out on the flight deck, work on improving flight and satellite simulators that I could test “fly” anytime, and work on producing next gen. electronics jamming units. All my work has been pretty heavy on the technical side (implementing new Kalman filters, developing orbital models, translating jamming tech capabilities to functional code, etc.), but I’ve never really felt satisfied. I keep thinking each job might be different and I might finally find something I feel excited to wake up to everyday, but the apathy persists.
What Gives?
I’ve thought my indifference might be related to specific companies I’ve worked at. I have old associates at almost every aerospace company and they’ve all been able to give same indications of what it’s like to work there. I get the sense for the most part, if I’ve been unfulfilled in my last jobs this issue will persist if I try to company hop.
While there’s the obvious choice of SpaceX, burnout is a legitimate concern from my perspective as it’s not worth my health, forcing me to maybe regrettably turn away. Then, there’s Blue Origin, but they have become a unique mix of letting deadlines slip and posturing over lawsuits to win contracts, as well as apparently morphing into an uncoordinated culture where there’s no set mission to guide efforts. Next in line, are smaller more niche aerospace or defense startups like Shield AI, Anduril, Joby Aviation, Archer, Relativity, Astra, etc. I’ve read that some of these cultures are really great and have superb technical challenges but they come with their own challenges that are unique to the aerospace world. They all boil down to either poor work life balance, old aerospace management culture, mediocre compensation, limited scope of work, promotions dogmatically tied to years of experience, or contract pressure deadlines that are unrealistic. Then, you have some of the newer aerospace companies that still fall into the old aerospace fallacies, General Atomics, Sierra Nevada Corporation, Sierra Space, Virgin Galactic, Virgin Orbit, etc. Finally, you have a lot of the large traditional employers, Boeing, Lockheed, Northrop Grumman, Raytheon/Collins, etc. The only company I’ve really failed to make progress with in an interview process has been Anduril so I don’t feel as though my desire to leave is that I’m undesirable for the jobs I want. I just cannot shake the feeling that no matter who I work for in the industry, it will be the same deal or I’ll be significantly sacrificing in something I consider important to me like work-life balance or health.
Seeing the passion in some of my coworkers’ work and technical conversations leaves me wondering if I was ever meant to be in the field to begin with. Instead of feeling excited to work on some cool new feature on a simulator, I internally grumble about all the details that will need to go into planning out the task. I dread greenfield meetings because I know it will be flowing down to produce more pressing deadlines.
While I think some of my complaints relate back to growing in my work place maturity and how corporations work, I cannot help but think that I just haven’t found a job/field/company that is a good fit for me.
My Work Philosophy
I’ve never been a “TC (total compensation) chaser”. I always wanted to find a field that I could be good at and that moderately interested me, and wanted to get paid to live a comfortable but at least modest life. I’ve thought through numerous career fields trying to find this. I debated medical school but it was hard to justify spending a little less than a decade taking out massive student loans just to eventually catch your stride at earliest in your mid-30s, especially if I’m questioning my passion before even starting. I have a couple lawyers and patent attorneys in my family and it’s really a grinder career path filled with brutal workplace politics and potentially expensive student loans as well. I have accountants in my family who echo that working for the big 4 is a grind as well for decently low pay, and the exit opportunities are not amazing if you don’t like accounting to begin with. Consulting is an option I’ve considered but again, I think you might be looking at sacrificing work-life balance with the reward of diverse and interesting projects. The closest field I’ve found that combines work-life balance, creativity, technical excellence, a broad range of job opportunities, and compensation has been software. While I realize software in tech may not be perfect as aerospace is not perfect, I don’t think this practical combination can be beat.
I’ve thought of trying to take some heavy interests of mine and combine them into some sort of job, but I haven’t found “the one”. I like sports, playing music on my saxophone, reading, writing, psychology, history, taking my dog to dog parks, and fitness but I cannot find one field related to these interests that pays well and offers all the other amenities like software does. It always feels like you’re paying a price (aka lack of compensation or work life balance) for following something you’re passionate about as everybody and their mother also wants to find this unicorn job. This also does not touch on how taking your interests and turning them into work may make make these interests feel more like chores.
When I think of the aerospace industry, I still think it’s a good mix of mission-driven, work life balance, technical engagement, and decent compensation. What it’s lacking in is incentivized performance, scope of work until very senior (feeling like a cog in the machine), lack of early career growth (waiting in line for years behind older tenured members), nature of work (often contracted-reliant which creates pressure), sometimes lacking in innovation when resource allocation is not practical, old style management culture that doesn’t empower technical engineers, and mediocre pay compared to tech. Weighing the pros and cons has left me with a desire to try something else. What that something else is or what industry it might be in, I’m still not sure.
What To Do, What To Do
I’ve come to the conclusion I’m basic and want it all. I realize a job is a job at the end of the day, and I might never be one of the lucky few to find a dream job. This hasn’t deterred me from trying, but for now, I’ve decided to focus my efforts on reaching financial independence to try to achieve these goals more. Upon reaching financial independence, the goal is to finally have the time to explore some of the previously mentioned interests or new ones as I progress in life. I’m never going to work a job I hate, but as with most things in life, there’s a big grey area when it comes to this. Is it better to work a relaxed job I kind of don’t love but kind of don’t hate for $120,000 or work a job I actively dislike but is bearable for $300,000?
How much money do I need to be happy? When I look at student loans for my first BS despite being granted big scholarships, it’s hard to take a pay cut to work a job I ~might~ like more. When I think of owning a home, I can own one in a low cost of living area right now but it caps my earning potential to the city’s market rate, especially with the uncertainty looming over permanent remote opportunities. When I think of reaching financial independence, it ultimately doesn’t matter what my salary number is if I never feel like I’m making the investment efforts I want to reach financial independence by my goal age. When I think of finding a job I like aligned with these financial goals, it’s hard to picture in the aerospace industry, especially with inflation taking off. It’s hard to cope with the economic struggle while acknowledging the marathon nature of a fruitful career.
I share this information to not depress my faithful reader into dreading any aerospace work, but to shine a realistic light on what I believe is a common dilemma many find themselves in in the field. If somebody is smart enough to major in the STEM disciplines as many of my coworkers, they’re probably smart enough to find success in most career fields. This, however, does not necessarily mean it’s a good reason for the person to pursue a lucrative or relaxed job if there’s complete indifference to the work. After weighing the pros and cons of leaving the aerospace industry, I’ve grown more committed to leaving but I think no matter what, there will always be a “what if” playing through my mind to see if there was that one closure area of work I could have really thrived in and been better than most at within aerospace.
In the meantime, onwards I go. By opening myself up to the possibility of leaving the aerospace industry, I’ve been able to think through what I truly want out of a career and plan out what I want my life to look like. I sometimes feel that I’ll always invent workplace problems when I don’t feel connected to my work, but I’m determined to keep aiming for better quality of mind and life. With financial independence on my mind, I may not ever work a job I love, but if it’s enough to get me through the day feeling decent about the work I’m producing, then I hope I’ll feel all this effort has been a success. Whether I find this feeling in aerospace or another industry, I feel confident I will always align my career to this long-term vision.
