I will be 50 years old next spring. That’s a big milestone for most people, and at this stage in life, many folks start thinking about retirement and calculating how many years until they can retire.

I have been in education since 1996, inside the classroom teaching and outside the classroom supporting teachers. But I have been working as a software engineering intern for the past 4 months, and will be earning my BS in CS this December. I am standing at the brink of a new and very challenging engineering pathway with work colleagues who are 2 decades younger than me.

So many times, I have asked myself, “Why am I doing this?” I’m sure my friends and family have asked themselves as well. When I am staying up working on homework while my family is asleep or struggling with a very tedious and difficult problem at work, I ask myself, “Why am I doing this?”

I could’ve easily stayed in teaching which I was a master at. I do miss interacting with students and witnessing their learning and growth.

So…why am I doing this?

I am inexorably drawn to the idea of reinventing myself. Of trying something new. Being uncomfortable. If I am too comfortable at work, my mind wanders about dipping into the pools of boredom. It’s the privilege of being able to have more than one life with a beginning, middle, and end.

At work, I have been assigned to a wonderful mentor who is over 20 years younger than me. I wonder if he wonders why I am ‘starting over’. But perhaps when he is almost 50 and wants to try something completely different, he’ll think of me 20 years from now and be emboldened to take that step towards reinvention.