Experience of a Lifetime

Two years ago if you asked me to define what masculinity meant I could have done it relatively easily. I would of described the usual stereotypes of being tough, don’t cry, and to be brave. Today the task of defining what masculinity means to me is much more difficult of a task. I feel over the last several years I have gained more insight into what masculinity means. Yes, I still believe that to be truly masculine a person would fit under many of the stereotypes of being tough and brave, but there is so much more to it. Many believe a masculine person shouldn’t become emotional, but I have seen even the most masculine men shed tears. I believe a truly masculine person knows when to express their emotion, and when to hold emotions back. They need to be strong emotionally at times when others are weaker, but also allow themselves to release their emotions during the rough times. This isn’t weakness but a release that is required to survive life at times. I have learned through the hard times I have faced recently that sometimes I just need to release from holding emotions in because it is more detrimental to my mental stability to hold them in. A truly masculine person is capable of having the strength to show their weaknesses at times.

A masculine person is someone who others can depend on during hard times. They are the person who stands up for others when they are not capable of defending themselves. They are the person whose presence is noticed in a room. They know exactly who they are and are full of confidence. A masculine person is similar to a quote I heard, “A great man never feels great, and a small man never feels small.” They know of their masculinity yet they don’t go around trying to prove it to every person they meet. Masculinity doesn’t only pertain to physically strong men, as anyone can be masculine, including women.

Throughout my life I have always tried to present as masculine. I have always tried to be a predominate individual in any room I am in. I feel my strife to be masculine turned me into the strong personality I am today. Being masculine is something that kind of fits my personality style in my day to day interactions. Not everyone is masculine, but for some it is a good fit.

In the end masculinity is still difficult to explain or even express at times. I feel there is no perfect definition to masculinity as the definition is constantly changing from person to person over time. I have only touched on what I feel it means to be masculine and I’m sure in several more years my definition will change as I learn through more experiences. There is no perfect answer in how to be masculine but it shouldn’t be something you try and force yourself to be. Be yourself and find masculinity in your own way without trying to fit to what society tells you it should be.

Kevin Rodemack

Community Relations Facilitator – Westside Quad

The comments shared by the Community Relations Facilitator program are strictly the point of view from the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of UHDS. If this article has inspired a desire to dialogue, the author, or another CRFs and/or any Resident Assistant or Resident Director  would be happy to participate. Please contact Victor Santana-Melgoza (Victor.Santana-Melgoza@oregonstate.edu), UHDS Multicultural Resource Coordinator, to assist in making arrangements.