For this assignment I would like to share an experience that I had with a family member regarding the tension and conflict between social movements related to Black Lives Matter, police brutality and supporting law enforcement professionals.
I have an extended family member, Travis, that currently serves as a Police Officer in Tigard, Oregon. Travis identifies as a White man and grew up in predominantly white surroundings throughout their development. Travis is also in the United States National Guard and was recently deployed to Kosovo for a nine month assignment. Travis is technically my brother in-law, and his immediate family lacks cultural diversity and awareness and frequently uses explicit language that is contradictory to the feelings that my partner and I share. It has been extremely difficult to balance how to best address the conflicts that we have within the family, and feel isolated from the group a majority of the time we spend interacting with them.
The specific incident that I wanted to use related to Racial Climate is an intense conversation that my partner and I had with a parent about how to support a movement like Black Lives Matter, while still being able to have pride in yourself as a United States citizen and the armed forces. This family member was very concerned and frustrated about all of the protests and riots that were occurring in Downtown Portland, and was not able to distinguish the difference between peaceful acts of protest and the rioters who were looting and destroying property throughout the city. This extreme generalization is harmful to everyone in our society and unfairly categorizes the brave acts of protest that should be at the forefront of White folks’ attention. The family member used statements such as, “Blue lives matter” and “back the blue” when referring to the division of Black people and law enforcement, which caused severe distress for my partner and I and how we needed to manage the relationship.
It is well known that my partner and I have much more democratic views and perspectives than the rest of the immediate and extended family, which has not caused much conflict at this point. With the intensity of converging feelings that folks were experiencing at this time it felt like we were at a boiling point of being more explicit of where we stand with social issues. The conversation in reference began after a day of camping and playing games, when this family member specifically singled my partner and I out, and stated “So what do you guys think of all the protests and Black Lives Matter stuff that’s going on? I know that you have felt differently than us in the past so I am curious how you view what is going on now.” This direct call out in front of the entire family felt like an attack with many assumptions associated with it. With that being said, it was a good opportunity for my partner and I to be clear about how we were dealing with the circumstances and how we viewed the current events that were occurring. It felt like there were two sides of an argument, one that we fully disagree with but our family identifies with, or one that is unsupportive of first responders or the army. These circumstances that were forced upon us by people that we love are extremely unfair and challenging to navigate, but a breaking point was necessary. Through this experience, we did our best to educate the rest of our family about the harm that has been done and continues to occur to Black people in our country. Their social networks and prior knowledge have not encouraged them to become more educated in topics of social injustice and their privilege has allowed them to operate through a narrow paradigm that does not consider how disproportionate the opportunities are for people of color in the United States. As a result, we were able to (relatively) work towards a shared understanding but were still not in any sort of agreement. It felt liberating to share our feelings in a more open and explicit way, regardless of the negative impacts that may come of the interaction. This experience has made me more confident in advocating in a responsible way and continuing to develop my own cultural competencies to help support social justice initiatives. Conflict within the family can surely be challenging, but the work to create a more equitable society is required, no matter how difficult.
