For San Francisco rent on one salary our quality of life went way down, but after the shock of the constant city hum wore off, I was glad to be there. That said, nothing in my life thus far had removed me so much from my family than the move to a big city. No one could understand it, they were all so afraid and intimidated by it. City and country are like night and day and I was the sunrise that everyone slept through. I took refuge only in my marriage, and any molecules of self-love that fall to my mouth from my tears. Self-esteem is not one of my gifts and Imposter syndrome on top of that stirs up so much anxiety and despair I could destroy an entire Earth. I was so different than the cultured city folk and developed a shame around my origins. I finished my bootcamp though (yay) and had been searching for a job, studying, applying, interviewing, feeling humiliated, getting rejected over, and over, again. My feelings became harder and harder to take. But drugs and alcohol were there for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
These new habits made old habits harder to diffuse and life was getting rough. Then one day, my Mom passed away, suddenly and unexpectedly. Suddenly and unexpectedly, I wasn’t there. I fell deep down into a crisis. I was addicted, off the rails, my state pierced more trauma into my body than it could possibly hold and my poor husband lie there with a gaping wound in his heart. How we would ever come back from this I didn’t know. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For San Francisco rent on one salary our quality of life went way down, but after the shock of the constant city hum wore off, I was glad to be there. That said, nothing in my life thus far had removed me so much from my family than the move to a big city. No […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12396,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12396"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28\/revisions\/29"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/sharpkel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}