I am a chronic perfectionist. For those that know perfectionists, one of the many things that we do is never begin things. It seems counter-intuitive (if something has to be perfect, shouldn’t you begin as soon as possible? ) but in my mind, as soon as I begin something, it begins to lose it’s potential to be perfect. When I had to write essays for school, I would often stare at the blank page before me. I knew that as soon as I wrote even one word that I introduced the possibility of something sub-optimal. This is why starting things is hard for me.

Subsequently, I am also a chronic procrastinator. Though some may be proud to say it — boasting that they can do what they need to in the last minute — I am not one of those people. If you read my last post, you may know that I have been in a little bit of a slump (and I suppose a mental health blogging kind of mood). In this episode I wanted to cover expectations. To be candid, I did not start writing this post when I wanted to, and the idea of not writing anything crossed my mind. But then I remembered, “Memento Mori”. “Remember we die”. This is a strange and morbid thought, but that is not the point of the phrase. The purpose is to act. If something is overwhelming (like doing an assignment.. cough cough), or the effort doesn’t seem worth it, Memento Mori. Remember that in the end, it doesn’t matter if everything you do is perfect. Just give it your best shot. And so I decided that even though in this post my thoughts may not be as polished as I want them to be, and my grammar may include some run on sentences, that it doesn’t matter. Years from now, I don’t want to be thinking about the things that I didn’t do.

Whether I feel prepared or not, I must push forward. If I don’t get an A, or get the job, or get a date with that girl, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that I tried. I can take pride in that.