{"id":5539,"date":"2025-12-01T09:04:31","date_gmt":"2025-12-01T17:04:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/osuteaching\/?p=5539"},"modified":"2025-12-05T17:27:28","modified_gmt":"2025-12-06T01:27:28","slug":"teaching-on-the-edge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/osuteaching\/2025\/12\/01\/teaching-on-the-edge\/","title":{"rendered":"Teaching on the edge"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Rachael Cate, OSU College of Engineering<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Resilient Teaching Voices Series<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Becoming more resilient as a teacher didn\u2019t just sound appealing\u2014it felt essential. I\u2019m Type A, with two young children (ages 6 and 3), and I struggle to recognize when \u201cgood enough\u201d is truly enough. The constant flood of information, tools, opinions, and choices leaves me overwhelmed. I\u2019ve long searched for something steady within me\u2014something that rises to meet challenges and stays confident in both motherhood and teaching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At 20, I set out on a series of long distance bike tours with rock climbing gear, pedaling to Yosemite (twice), the North Cascades, and Glacier National Park. I told my (then) partner, \u201cIf this doesn\u2019t make me tough, I want my money back!\u201d I\u2019m not sure how tough I became, but those long hours on the road, the dirt beneath me, stars above, and the deep breaths I took clinging to rock walls gave me a presence I craved. That presence gave me confidence to keep going, no matter what came next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Years later, in grad school, I sought that same grounded confidence through positive psychology, mindfulness, gratitude, and grit. I read Bren\u00e9 Brown’s Daring Greatly <\/em>(2015), Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance<\/em> (2004), Flourish<\/em> by Martin Seligman (2012) and also Carol Gilligan’s In A Different Voice<\/em> (1982). I kept a gratitude journal and tried to cultivate grace and composure. But despite glimpses of something profound, I often felt overwhelmed, insecure, and decidedly un<\/em>composed. My thoughts raced toward the next goal, always chasing something in the future. I rarely felt as grounded as I did on those bike tours, with the road humming beneath me or my body anchored to steel hooks 300 feet in the air.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During that same period, while researching ecofeminist theory, I began meditating with a local Zen Buddhist group\u2014a practice I\u2019ve continued for 15 years. I\u2019ve been through countless phases of \u201cThis is it!\u201d and \u201cThis isn\u2019t working.\u201d I read No Time To Loose<\/em> by Pema Chodrun (2007), a translation of Shantideva’s Way of the Bodhisattva<\/em> (2007), an edition of Ehei Dogen’s Shobogenzo<\/em> (1991), Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Miracle of Mindfulness <\/em>(1999), the Dalai Lama’s The Art of Happiness<\/em> (2009), and Shunyru Suzuki’s Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind<\/em> (2007), among others. I also dove into yoga and stayed active outdoors\u2014biking, hiking, skiing, paddleboarding\u2014anything to reconnect with the world through body and breath. I\u2019ve continued sitting at the Zen Center, going on silent retreats and speaking with my teachers about my practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve realized that what matters most is a grounded presence\u2014in the classroom, with my students, and with myself. I want to feel the air in my lungs and my shoes on the lecture hall floor. I want to show up fully, whether I\u2019m excited or embarrassed, meeting each moment with courage and compassion.<\/p>\u2014Rachael Cate<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

And still, here I was in early September of this year, in search of ways to become more resilient in life and teaching. So I joined the CTL\u2019s Fall 2025 Resilient Teaching Faculty Learning Community. Now, in November, I feel something has shifted. I\u2019m no longer chasing a saving grace. What changed? Whether because of my participation in the FLC this fall, years of practice with my teachers’ guidance, something ready inside me, or all these things, I can’t say. But I can say I think I\u2019ve stopped trying to perform, to stay composed, to match some ideal of what a \u201cgood teacher\u201d should be. I was exhausted from striving\u2014always trying to make myself and my courses better, more current, more comprehensive\u2014at the cost of being truly present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve had to let go a lot. Not of caring about teaching or wanting to support my students, but of the relentless pressure to improve. I\u2019ve realized that what matters most is a grounded presence\u2014in the classroom, with my students, and with myself. I want to feel the air in my lungs and my shoes on the lecture hall floor. I want to show up fully, whether I\u2019m excited or embarrassed, meeting each moment with courage and compassion. I want to stop outrunning hard emotions like fear of failure and instead face them with openness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to see the light in my students\u2019 eyes, hear the quality of their questions, and respond with something fresh\u2014just for this moment. Teaching now feels more like hanging on a cliff: exposed, uncertain, but alive. I may not have all the answers. I might fall. But this vulnerability is also what brings joy and meaning to my work. It\u2019s what makes connection possible. And it\u2019s what makes teaching fulfilling\u2014one breath at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

References<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Brach, T. (2004). Radical acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha<\/em>. Bantam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brown, B. (2015). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead<\/em>. Avery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n, P. (2007). No time to lose: A timely guide to the way of the Bodhisattva<\/em>. Shambhala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dalai Lama, & Cutler, H. C. (2009). The art of happiness: A handbook for living<\/em>. Riverhead Books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u014dgen, E. (1991). Sh\u014db\u014dgenz\u014d: The eye and treasury of the true law<\/em> (K. Nishiyama & J. Stevens, Trans.). Shunjusha Publishing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gilligan, C. (1982). In a different voice: Psychological theory and women’s development<\/em>. Harvard University Press.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hanh, T. N. (1999). The miracle of mindfulness: An introduction to the practice of meditation<\/em> (M. L. Vo-Dinh, Trans.). Beacon Press.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seligman, M. E. P. (2012). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being<\/em>. Free Press.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shantideva. (2007). The way of the Bodhisattva<\/em> (P. Crosby & A. Skilton, Trans.). Shambhala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suzuki, S. (2007). Zen mind, beginner\u2019s mind<\/em>. Shambhala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Rachael Cate, Ph.D. is a Senior Instructor II in the School of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science. Her research focus is transformational and decolonized educational methods, ecofeminist and buddhist cultural theories, and the power of lifting diverse voices for cultural transformation through ethnography. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Editor\u2019s note:<\/em> This is part of the Resilient Teaching Voices Series<\/a> of guest posts about resilience and teaching strategies by members of the Fall \u201925 Resilient Teaching Faculty Learning Community facilitated by CTL. The opinions expressed in guest posts are solely those of the author.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Top image generated with Microsoft Copilot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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