{"id":160,"date":"2022-04-04T22:03:19","date_gmt":"2022-04-04T22:03:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/opec\/?p=160"},"modified":"2024-12-09T23:08:18","modified_gmt":"2024-12-09T23:08:18","slug":"for-parenting-educators-the-power-of-our-mindset","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/opec\/for-parenting-educators-the-power-of-our-mindset\/","title":{"rendered":"For Parenting Educators: The Power of Our Mindset"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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espa\u00f1ol<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

By Megan McQueen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As parenting educators, we celebrate growth in families. This fulfilling journey can bring us joy as we reflect on the changes made along the way. But sometimes, we may notice judgment creeping into our thoughts about the families we support. When my oldest child was a toddler and labeling colors, singing ABCs, and counting, I remember thinking, \u201cThis isn\u2019t that hard. I just sing songs and talk to her and she learns these skills. Kids that develop typically just need adults that talk with them.\u201d Of course, I knew it was a *bit* more complicated than that, but I needed to rein in my thoughts of others without all the skills and advantages our family had.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reframing my views to root in strengths and center empathy helps me become the person I would like to be and supports my connection and work with families. As Think Kids<\/a> and Lives in the Balance<\/a> teach, \u201cKids [families] do well when they can.\u201d Keeping this in mind and practicing the following tips can empower families.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Notice patterns<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We may have past traumas or challenges that conversations with families can trigger. Notice your physical responses that become elevated. Perhaps your palms get clammy, or your heart rate increases. Find a subtle way to soothe yourself in the moment. Maybe you can put your hand on your heart and take a deep breath. Offer yourself self-compassion<\/a>. It can be hard to support someone who unintentionally reminds you of difficult times. Talking with a therapist to work through your history and build coping strategies may be helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ground yourself <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Writers such as Elena Aguilar<\/a> and Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/a> offer lists of core values to identify for ourselves. Choosing 2 or 3 top beliefs helps us navigate sticky situations and ground us in our best selves. Talking through these exercises with family, co-workers, or friends helps deepen the experience. Bren\u00e9 Brown\u2019s practice offers questions to help us live into these values more often and recognize what pulls us out of them. Holding my core values close to me reminds me to center myself, especially when working with others who may typically pull me out of alignment with my principles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lagging skills <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Changing how we see people will change how we interact with and support families. Experts at Think Kids and Lives in the Balance suggest framing our perception of others\u2019 actions as skill-building areas instead of people willfully trying to be troublesome. Instead of thinking, \u201cThis dad is a jerk,\u201d we can see learning opportunities, reminding ourselves, \u201cIf he can build his self-regulation skills and handle his anger differently, he can stay connected with his kids.\u201d Focus on strengths in people and opportunities for growth instead of naming perceived flaws as character traits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Give to yourself<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

People in \u201chelping professions\u201d often prioritize the needs of others over themselves. We may maintain our basic needs but feel that our families\u2019 resilience is more critical than ours. We\u2019ve all heard the \u201coxygen mask\u201d metaphor and know that we need to care for ourselves, but practicing care may still seem elusive. Burning ourselves out does not serve our families. Building a routine for your day that includes something for yourself is crucial. Creating small moments of joy to anticipate also helps. If you dream of an international trip with friends, think of modest ways to add travel to your life that you can experience more often. Can you go out of town for a day with a friend? Plan it and look forward to it. As Ingrid Fetell Lee, the author of Joyful<\/a>, writes, giving ourselves future joy<\/a> can be helpful. Try pre-ordering a book and enjoy the surprise when it arrives. You are worthy of delight!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By shifting our mindsets, we take small steps to change our society. We are counteracting systemic racism, ableism, sexism, classism, etc., by opening our hearts to the people in front of us. We understand that we all are affected by these systems. By slowing down, taking care of our feelings, and humanizing the problems our families bring to class, we are rebuilding the community in a way that will center our connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Resources<\/h2>\n\n\n\n