Family History and Storytelling

Growing up, I was raised in an extremely conservative, Italian-Catholic household. My family immigrated to California a couple generations ago and were quickly forced to assimilate to American culture. My mother’s side of the family changed their last name to be more American, while my father’s side kept their last name (Martino) but many changed their first name to be more accepted in school. Everyone was forced to learn English rather quickly, and my grandparents still note to this day how the kids used to make fun of them for their accents. Their older siblings ended up dropping out of school in order to better support the family and work. When discussing this with my relatives now, most of them offer regret, wishing they could go back and finish school. My father’s family became middle class, but my mother’s family stayed in poverty for many years. As such, there was always a lot of pressure on both of my parents to obtain an education, as a way to escape the chain of poverty. My parents both ended up becoming teachers, and this value of education has been passed down to me.

Because much of my family quickly assimilated, there wasn’t much of the culture that made its way to me. My father speaks strong Italian, but I can only pick up on words here and there. Most of my Italian heritage has been passed down to me through food and sharing recipes, and that is something I hold near to my heart. Another part that remained was the strong spiritual ties to Catholicism. My parents were extremely orthodox and traditional, and much of my youth was spent in church. There were a lot of aspects of that upbringing that were extremely problematic and toxic, and by the time I turned 18 and left for college, I already felt very isolated in this community as a queer woman. I quickly made a change when I left home and left the church. I was able to be more open about who I was, I was able to explore politics and social justice movements in a way I was never able to before, and I was able to find a group of friends that were supportive and encouraging of my newfound values. I learned about privilege, about how many of the beliefs that had been engrained in me for so long were hurtful to people of all communities, especially underrepresented communities. While leaving the church made me feel a bit isolated in terms of community and my cultural upbringing, it was ultimately so important in my overall development and my worldview, and has further cemented my commitment to advocating for equity and fairness on college campuses.