The Calm Before The Storm (Or Is It?)
It is the first week of class and it is time for our first Blog Post. What do we write about? Most of us haven’t chosen or been assigned projects and groups. It almost feels like the class hasn’t really started as of yet. What could we possibly write about? Yet, the class has started. In fact, this first week will frame the rest of the class. Likewise, this Post will set the scene for the rest of the content I will be posting on this blog. This week offers a generous opportunity for all of us to take inventory of where we are at this point in our studies. This includes both technical aspects and emotional/personal. As I do this for myself, I find my mind lingering on how I react to new situations.
For many of us, those who haven’t yet worked as a Software Engineer or Developer, this type of class could be a completely new experience. New experiences can be stressful. I want to take the opportunity, in this Blog Post to discuss how I handle stress management and feeling “stuck”. Specifically, when faced with a new situation that I do not yet have the context or previous experience to understand and/or predict. I will use this class and my preparations for it as some examples. In my opinion, being able to prepare for and deal with uncertainty in a healthy way is an important personal and professional skill. I will share my perspective and what actions help me when I am feeling lost and stressed.
It is also important to mention that every person is different. They handle stress and anxiety in different ways. It is not my intention to tell anyone how to feel or what works for them in terms of stress reduction. I only want to explain what methods help me manage my stress and how I approach these types of situations.
Emerging From the Forest
As I begin this class, I find myself met with a plethora of conflicting emotions. I imagine I am not alone. The first and most prevalent, is excitement. I love what this class represents. It is the culmination of everything we have learned up until this point. Not only specific technical skills (languages, algorithms, etc.), but how to learn new skills. It is also an opportunity to build something I can be proud of. However, the open ended and self-guided nature of this class also brings up feelings of uncertainty and confusion. Whenever I am faced with a new situation, I experience similar emotions. I am sure that you would all agree that this happens all the time while studying Computer Science. When you aren’t familiar with what you are doing or the dynamics of the interactions you will be having, it is natural to experience stress and anxiety. That’s why it is important to develop methods to deal with these emotions in a healthy and productive manner. So while I still experience these emotions, I’ve become very comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The first step I take while preparing for a new or stressful situation like this is to admit to myself that I am not perfect. I allow myself to doubt, to worry. What if I don’t have the skills to properly complete the capstone project I am assigned to? What if I don’t get along with the people on my team? These might be questions someone would ask themselves at the start of a capstone project. I don’t feel the need to block these questions out of my mind. Pretending these worries do not exist will not make them go away (at least that doesn’t work for me). Doubts only become negative and toxic when you allow them to control how you feel and function. I acknowledge my doubts, then move on. I try to focus on solutions instead of dwelling.
I let my doubts define the actions I need to take to overcome them. I actually write myself a list. If you are concerned that you don’t have the skills to complete a project, figure out what skills you need to teach yourself. If you are worried that you will not get along with teammates, research how professionals handle team conflicts. Again, focus on solutions, don’t dwell on uncertainties. For myself, even the act of dissecting my doubts and creating a plan to combat them makes me feel more confident in myself. That, in turn, reduces my stress and anxiety regarding the situation. In fact, I followed this exact method this morning. I was feeling worried because recently I had to take multiple terms off (not in a row) from the program for personal reasons. I started to doubt my abilities and memory. However, I wrote a list of my doubts and how I could overcome them. I realized things were nowhere near as bad as I had imagined, and I now have a plan for how to address any skills I need to brush up on.
Furthermore, when I am dealing with stress that is manifesting due to uncertainty, my philosophy is to focus on “movement”. What do I mean by that? I find that I think best in these situations by making any type of progress. If I don’t know where exactly to start, I just pick a likely starting place and begin. It is easy to get caught up like a deer in headlights. What should I do? Where do I begin? Sometimes the most important thing you can do for yourself when you are stuck is to just do something. Make some sort of progress, even if in the end it ends up that it wasn’t all that important for your goal. As you progress you will be able to determine what is and is not necessary. Maybe you start by researching a new technology for your project. While you are researching it, you discover that it won’t work for your needs. However, in your research you learned of alternatives that might be just what you are looking for. Don’t let yourself get stuck at the beginning of a task. In my opinion, that is the easiest portion of a project to get stuck on. For this class, I was feeling nervous, so I started this blog. I couldn’t start the project, but at least I could get my thoughts and feelings out.
Finally, I find it helpful to remind myself that new experiences are one of the best parts about being alive. Yes, there might be some hard days ahead, but I am investing in my future. I didn’t learn to read or cook in one day. There were challenges and more than one dish my family had to force down on my behalf. Now these skills comprise two of my favorite hobbies. You never know when you might be learning or participating in something that could change your life for the good. I hope that CS467 turns out to be that sort of experience.
Wrapping It Up
All of the previous classes I have taken in this program have been much more guided than this class. I was told what to study and given the exact documents and resources I needed to succeed. It was like I was walking on a path through a forest. I found my way by staying on the track laid out before me. Sometimes a rock obstructed the way, but I was always able to find where the path picked up. However, now I have emerged from the forest and in front of me a large trackless plain stretches out to all horizons. This isn’t only represented by this class, but by especially by my future software engineer career. This is a good thing. I believe that it is in these types of circumstances that we truly grow. If you keep the training wheels on forever, you wont ever really learn how to ride a bike. New experiences can be one of the best parts of life. I look forward to learning and will continue to practice and develop my stress management techniques to help me along the way.
