{"id":48,"date":"2025-05-29T16:12:37","date_gmt":"2025-05-29T16:12:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/?p=48"},"modified":"2025-11-12T16:57:36","modified_gmt":"2025-11-12T16:57:36","slug":"chasing-that-mfa-feeling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/2025\/05\/29\/chasing-that-mfa-feeling\/","title":{"rendered":"“Chasing that ‘MFA feeling'”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Prose faculty Cat Snyder on reacquainting oneself with the MFA through the writing residency. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n

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This April, I had the pleasure of attending the Storyknife Writers Retreat in Homer, Alaska for two weeks. I wanted to go for a handful of reasons\u2014for the dedicated time and space, to prove I still know how to be alone(ish), to meet other writers, for the ego boost, and because it\u2019s freaking Alaska<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the time and space<\/strong>: We writers know that there\u2019s really no substitute for uninterrupted hours and a private, quiet place in which to stare at our screens in creative anguish. The first week of my own MFA in Corvallis, one of the instructors (hi, Keith!) warned us that we would never again write at the same volume or pace as we would in the program. I think he meant that writing would never be at the dead center of our lives again, and that it would only get harder to produce work once those two structured years were up. He wasn\u2019t being discouraging, but he was honest. Though this caveat burrowed like a bug in my brain, I tried to believe that he was wrong, that he had underestimated my own dedication\u2014but he wasn\u2019t, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My time at the MFA (especially pre-COVID) was a gorgeous blip. Now, I have three jobs, a dog, a husband, and all the myriad expenses that come with being a functioning adult in 2025 (not to mention Netflix). While the people in my life support my writing, no one is explicitly asking me or paying me to write, so it\u2019s easy for writing to fall to the bottom of my wretched to-do list. What\u2019s more, I have no external deadlines. Though I still meet with many people from my MFA cohort once a month for workshop, writing is submitted on a volunteer basis. Frankly, when I think about the sheer number of pages I wrote for my thesis alone, I almost want to cry. I can\u2019t remember what it was like to be expected<\/em> to write; to have writing be the whole point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At Storyknife, I was able to recalibrate the balance of my day. For two weeks, I rewrote the laws of gravity for my life: a colleague and friend kindly covered my classes at OSU (thank you, Mike!). I\u2019d completed my monthly freelance work before the trip. I woke up early to work my PR job (the rest of my team works east coast hours, which freed up my afternoons for writing)\u2014and by 1pm AK time each day, my time was entirely my own. So, what did I do with it? I took long walks on the dirt roads around campus. I chipped away at nearly-fossilized chunks of writer\u2019s block. I dragged the armchair in front of the gas fireplace in my cabin and wrote until it felt like my shins might melt off. And at dinner, I gathered with other writers who had spent their days in similar skull-sized vortexes, and we passed the salt and talked it all out: memoir versus essays, stories versus novels, why we do this even when it\u2019s painful. All of this felt like what I\u2019d temporarily lost when my MFA ended: the difference between \u201cI write\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m a writer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On being alone(ish): <\/strong>I have gone my whole life not knowing if I\u2019m an introvert or an extrovert. I\u2019ve had people try to tell me, but neither categorization feels quite right. I like people, but I have social anxiety. I get tongue-tied ordering a coffee, but I crave the high of making other people laugh. I like to hear myself talk, hate to hear myself think. I can only write in solitude, but I don\u2019t love being alone\u2014I listen to podcasts on ten-minute car rides, call my four siblings one at a time on long walks. Being lonely from time to time is good for me; I sometimes feel that I write best when my heart hurts a little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On meeting other writers: <\/strong>I was humbled when meeting the other women in my diverse and far-flung cohort, all of whom were more experienced in their careers and more advanced in their respective projects than me. Once I got over myself, the conversations were as productive as the hours writing. I learned about everyone\u2019s individual processes and routines, literary heroes, and paths to publication. One night, a fellow writer sat down at the dinner table and said: \u201cI\u2019ve got a question: forgiveness.\u201d It didn\u2019t matter that it wasn\u2019t, in fact, a question\u2014it prompted one of the most invigorating and empathetic conversations I\u2019ve had in a long time, and even impacted the ending of an essay I\u2019d been struggling to finish for over a year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though we discussed our work to some degree every day, it wasn\u2019t until our last night together that our cohort sat down for a casual a reading of our own making. After sharing so many meals together in such a sacred space, it was almost surreal to hear snapshots of their stories in their own voices. Even if I hadn\u2019t written one word worth saving, that evening alone would have made the trip worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the ego boost:<\/strong> Getting accepted to Storyknife was a confidence boost, sure, but to maintain that mental momentum is always a struggle. I feel an overwhelming appreciation for the Storyknife staff who go above and beyond to give female writers a place where they feel truly cared for\u2014through the delicious and creative meals provided, the privacy granted, and the communal space so carefully curated with creatives in mind. I think a lot of women (especially caregivers) are hesitant to be cared for. It took a while for me to believe that I deserved to be there, or that I deserved that level of nurturing. At the end of the day, what gift could be greater?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although my Imposter Syndrome was still alive and well upon meeting my cohort, by the time I left, I was just proud to have kept such esteemed company. Storyknife is a unique residency in that it lacks both pressure and pretension. Writers are not required to share their work from their time in Homer; there\u2019s a trust that it happened and a hope that it was worth it. The only pressure we feel is the pressure we put on ourselves, and thankfully the atmosphere while I was there was one of patience and passion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On freaking Alaska: <\/strong>I believe in creative respiration\u2014taking in as much beauty as you can, in the hopes that you will give something beautiful back. This was my second time in Alaska (after attending the Alderworks residency in 2021, in Skagway), and it never disappoints. If my eyes are to be believed, I saw a dozen bald eagles perched on a landfill [INSERT POLITICAL COMMENTARY HERE]. I saw the sun\u2014at eleven at night (every night). I saw a mother moose, swelling with the weight of her next calf (her yearling not yet wise to the fact that he will soon be banished to adulthood with the rest of us). I saw the ancient cerulean blue of a glacier, spurs rising like white sails on the horizon; dead plants stalks I didn\u2019t recognize (like the skeletons Dr. Seuss flora); the sun sinking below Mt. Iliamna, leaving her a ghostly blue against a clementine sky; rows and rows of mountains sharp as shark teeth, melting abruptly into a silver sea. (Honorable mentions: I was convinced I heard wolves in the night, but turns out it was just the neighbor\u2019s dramatic dog; I set my alarm for 2am every night and never saw the Northern Lights, but it was fun to run into other hopeful fools on the lawn.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All this to say, I will be chasing that \u201cMFA feeling\u201d anywhere I can, and I can\u2019t recommend residencies enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Connect with Cat online at<\/em> https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/catherine-malcynsky<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Photo credit: Cat Snyder<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n

Community<\/a>, <\/span>MFA<\/a>, <\/span>residencies<\/a>, <\/span>Writing<\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Prose faculty Cat Snyder on reacquainting oneself with the MFA through the writing residency. This April, I had the pleasure of attending the Storyknife Writers Retreat in Homer, Alaska for two weeks. I wanted to go for a handful of reasons\u2014for the dedicated time and space, to prove I still know how to be alone(ish), […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9192,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[5,10,11,2],"class_list":["post-48","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-on-writing","tag-community","tag-mfa","tag-residencies","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9192"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":69,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions\/69"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.oregonstate.edu\/cascadesmfa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}