Throughout my time here at OSU I quickly realized that it takes me a couple of weeks to get back into the university “mode” once I am fresh off a break. The amount of time not doing school related work to going back to it is always weird, but it’s also just as weird in the opposite order. When I finished my first year at OSU and had the longest break I had between being occupied with an activity, it made me realized I gain a habit of just being busy with something. This being busy was school focused for most of my life and even when it wasn’t there it had to deal with my Musical Background I was invested in since Middle School. However, since my first year of university was actually during the peak of Covid in late 2020, I had most of those activities removed and any place I had to be such as school was moved to online for the future. I bring all this up because as I approach the last few semesters of school in general for an indefinite amount of time, it makes me wonder how I am gonna feel when school is just out of the picture entirely, but for now I am gonna continue to talk about it as it’s still here as I type this.
School this Senior year actually started off a lot smoother then others, but also ramped in difficulty mentality due to the plans that are being presented so far ahead in my opinion that I am already needing to prepare for. For one, my Senior Project involving the creation of an NES emulator has been my main focus and has forced me to adapt to scenarios I wasn’t prepared for. I am currently working with a group that I believe is very capable based on the work they present, so much so that I really wanna improve my own work just so I am contributing some value while seeing the hard and great work I see my own members doing. Because of this strive to get better I have definitely been hyper fixating time to this to become more knowledgeable in the field we need to work in. Also the idea and thought of graduating is now going across all my close family members as well as friends. I didn’t intend for too many people to come at all, but the more people that are planning to come by and watch the graduation ceremony, the more it feels as if I should push harder to the end of this year and my final year until the completion of my initial degrees.
Overall my emotions are honestly quite what I expected coming into the final year. Some anxiety, while also just being excited I got through what was the majority of my life which was just being in School. Not knowing what’s coming in the future is a blessing and a curse, where not knowing the hardships is hard to deal with but also me not knowing what achievements I have coming up in my future is also an interesting thought and makes me wanna strive for goals until something halts me for a bit. This final stretch of school is almost like my guideline and once its over i’ll probably find something else to be my focus and hopefully not just in the job path I focus, but maybe in something I have a drive for that the work place might not offer.
Regardless, Ill post back here soon and hopefully it’ll be me still going full steam ahead into the final push of this school year.