Navigating Imposter Syndrome & Research Anxiety

As I wrapped up my year as a Malouf scholar, I reflected on whether or not I was able to meet the goals of the award. A mixture of everything going on in the world, created the perfect storm for uncertainty and doubt to creep into my mind, and I struggled with a bout of imposter syndrome. I revisited my Malouf application and was reminded that this was not the first-time uncertainty appeared. In my personal statement I asked myself “why would I be a good fit for this scholarship, and why is my research valuable to the Oregon Sea Grant community?” My response was “why not? The Malouf Scholarship aims to support graduate students who combine societally relevant research with education and public engagement, and that is exactly what my research aims to do. To educate people on underrepresentation in marine and fisheries science, and to engage the public and science community in a conversation about diversity and inclusion.” Reading through my statement I was quickly reminded, that although I had not accomplished all of my goals, I was able to make progress on many of them.

Navigating Research Anxiety

In addition to dealing with imposter syndrome, I also dealt with research anxiety related to my work and the increased attention on diversity, equity and inclusion in STEM fields this summer. For a while, it seemed like every other day I was receiving an email about the topic, which was encouraging, but I also felt a sense of pressure to get my research out. I wondered if I was missing an opportunity to capitalize on the amount of attention the topic was getting. However, while it seemed like a reasonable idea from publication perspective, it did not sit well with me on a personal level. I had to remind myself why I decided to pursue my research in the first place; because I believed in the importance of shedding light on underrepresentation in marine and fisheries science. At the very least, I felt that I owed it to my research participants to put the time and dedication into my data analysis and results. The fact that I was dealing with research anxiety made me realize that it might be best to take a break from my research.

Redirecting my Attention to a Virtual Internship

The perfect opportunity to pause my dissertation research presented itself this summer. Prior to Covid-19, I was scheduled to go to Seattle for an internship with NOAA’s Northwest Fisheries Science Center. Unfortunately, instead of an in-person internship we decided that a virtual one would be best, which I began in September. The timing of the internship worked out perfectly and provided a valid justification for taking a break from my dissertation research and focusing my attention elsewhere. The research project I’m working on with NOAA looks at the ecological and social drivers of salmon restoration projects in Oregon and Washington and has an environmental justice component, which I am excited to explore. While the internship required me to shift my focus to a new project and new methodology, I think my qualitative data analysis will benefit from the pause. Hopefully, I will be able to look at my data with fresh eyes and less research anxiety.

Self-Care

As I reflect back on the year, one thing that stands out is the importance of self-care and finding what works best for you. It was definitely hard to stay motivated this year. The task of continuing “business as usual” seemed wrong. For my first few years of graduate school, I was able to find a happy balance by taking regular trips home for an academic and mental break. Not being able to travel as much as I would like has required me to seek new ways to find a balance and practice self-care. I admit, I’m still not the best at it. One of the highlights of the past few months has been having video calls with my 9-year old cousin, talking about Roblox and TikToK (both of which I still don’t understand) and finding similarities in our struggles to navigate virtual learning. She’s much better at it than I am. Our calls are reminders that it’s okay to forget that I’m a graduate student and disconnect from the academic world every now and then.

Advice for Future Scholars

One of the biggest lessons I learned over the past few months and the best advice I could give to future scholars is to remember, it is okay to not be okay all the time. Life is hard. Work is hard. School is hard. However, we all have something to bring to the Oregon Sea Grant community and we all deserve to be here, even if we don’t always feel that way. So, continue to be great! Best wishes!

Navigating my first virtual conference presentation

In my last post, Navigating human subjects research in a time of social distancing, I highlighted how I utilized online data collection methods to continue my dissertation research. Soon after, I quickly realized that the pandemic was not only impacting my plans for interacting with my research participants, it was also impacting how and when I would be able to communicate my science. Prior to the pandemic, I had multiple in-person talks and presentation scheduled which were eventually postponed, with the hopes that an in-person meeting would be possible at a later date. However, after everyone adjusted to restrictions, I was faced with a new challenge, navigating virtual conferences.

I had the opportunity to present my research at two virtual conferences this year. For the first presentation, I was asked to complete a pre-recorded 5-minute lightning talk, which was something I had never done before. As a interdisciplinary social scientist, in a field primarily dominated by natural scientist, it sometimes takes a while for my audience to process why my research is important for natural resource management. Finding the best approaches to communicate my research in ways that are understandable to a broad group of people, is something that I enjoy, but can be time consuming. It usually involves me spending a decent amount of time explaining terms and theories before actually jumping into my research questions. So, as one can imagine, a 5-minute talk seemed like a daunting task. However, I quickly realize that it was a great opportunity to walk the audience through my research questions and demonstrate how I was able to adapt my data collection methods during the pandemic.

So, for this post, I decided to share part of my presentation. Unfortunately the initial file was too large to upload, therefore I had to reduce the video quality (which cause the images to be blurry) and divide the talk into the videos below. Hopefully you’re still able to follow along!

As I re-listen to the recorded presentation, it is hard not to nitpick at what I could have done better. Overall, it was an interesting process. Making sure the presentation was the correct length and that my voice recording lined up with the slides and transitions, took much longer than I expected. And while I don’t know if pre-recorded lightning talks are for me; I am glad I was able to experience it.

Kearney, A., & Kaplan, S. (1997). Toward a Methodology for the Measurement of Knowledge Structures of Ordinary People: The Conceptual Content Cognitive Map (3CM). Environment and Behavior, 29(5), 579-617

Navigating Human Subjects Research in a Time of Social Distancing

If you were to ask me what I study as a graduate student, my simplest response would be, I study people. The inspiration for my current research was a desire to understand the human dimensions of marine and fisheries related science fields and a desire to connect with people. However, due to the pandemic, I’ve been forced to reevaluate something that seems so simple and essential to my research just a few months ago. How do I continue to connect with people, in a time where we are encouraged to keep our distance?

Prior to this year, all of my data collection for my dissertation research has involved in-person human interactions. My research examines how life experiences and social identities shape marine and fisheries science related career decisions, and semi-structured in-person interviews had been my method of choice. I spent a large portion of 2019 traveling to marine/fisheries related science conferences/meetings and interviewing students and professionals who were all gracious enough to share their experiences. For my research with marine and fisheries science related professionals, I’m examining whether there are differences in perceptions of natural marine resource management across social identities by incorporating cognitive mapping card sorting into my interviews. And while I was able to collect a large portion of my data last year, I entered 2020 with plans to continue in-person interviews and the goal of completing my data collection by the end of Spring term. However, as winter term slowly began to come to an end, I quickly realized that things were not going to work out as planned, and that I would need a new approach for data collection.

Contingency planning

The week leading into the official stay at home order was rough. I spent a few days being frustrated and disappointed about all the plans that were canceled or rescheduled, but quickly realized I needed to focus on what I could control. Since my research deals with human subjects, my first stop was OSU’s Institutional Review Board’s (IRB) webpage for guidance about conducting research with human subjects during the pandemic, which stated that all non-critical in-person studies should be suspended or cancelled. My next step was to review my initial IRB  application, and while I initially planned to conduct the majority, if not all of my interviews in-person, I realized that I’d included a data collection contingency plan which stated that  “a combination of in-person and online interviews will be used… when in-person interviews are not an option, we plan to use online platforms. This simple entry in my application saved me the stress and time of having to submit a revised IRB application, and allowed for a somewhat smooth transition to online data collection. However, while video conferencing made it easy to move my semi-structured interviews to a virtual platform, moving my card sorting exercise online, presented a new challenge.

Example of a completed in-person cognitive mapping card sort

Card Sorting Data Collection with Qualtrics

My first task, during the first week at home, was to figure out how to move my card sorting exercise online. I spent the first day looking into various online card sorting platforms that I could potentially use. While there were multiple available, none of them completely met my project needs. Then I decided to explore Qualtrics to figure out if I could use its platform to develop a card sorting survey. Of all the platforms I’d researched, Qualtrics seemed the most promising. After a week of online searches for codes, multiple calls to the Qualtrics help desk, and a few test trials, I was able to develop and interview survey format that mimicked my in-person card sorting. With the use of multiple question formats and a lot of skip logic, I was able to design a survey platform that allows participants to select, group, label, and rank concept cards, as they would do in an in-person card sort, and was able to launch my card sorting survey and continue data collection at the beginning of April.

The Value of using Qualtrics for my card sorting.

Not only has Qualtrics allowed me to continue parts of my dissertation research during this time of uncertainty, I also noticed a few advantages to using the online platform compared to in-person interviews.

  1. Confidentiality Protection – In order to schedule in-person interviews, I was required to collect direct identifiers (names and emails) so I could contact participants to schedule interviews. While all direct identifiers are removed or stored separately from interview or card sorting data, they still exist, and require additional steps to protect the participant’s confidentiality.  By using an anonymous Qualtrics survey link to recruit participants, the collection and storage of direct identifiers was no longer needed.
  2. Broader Reach – The number of interviews and card sorts collected in-person were limited by my capacity to conduct one-on-one interviews. Using a Qualtrics survey for the card sorting eliminates the one-on-one scheduling needs and allows for more people to conduct the card sorting exercise at their own convenience, in various locations.
  3. Data Storage and Access – Once a participant completes the survey, the data is stored to the Qualtrics cloud, and I am able to access it immediately across multiple devices. This minimizes the need for manual data entry.

Lessons Learned 

While I’m still navigating how to push through during this time of uncertainty and how to connect with people, one lesson I learned over the past few weeks is the importance of having some form of a contingency plan. Having the option of conducting parts of my research online has truly saved me time and stress, and in some ways, has worked out for the best. While contingency plans are not always a catch all (there were definitely plans that I had to cancel or postpone), there are cases where they can come in handy and give you one less thing to a worry about, especially in a time of uncertainty.

So, although I’m taking a slightly different approach to connecting with people than I initially planned, it seems like I’m still on track to complete data collection this term. I’ll keep you all posted. Until then, stay safe!

My Journey to Grad School “Part II”

Hello and happy new year! My name is Brittany King and I am a third year PhD candidate, in the department of fisheries and wildlife at Oregon State University. My dissertation research focuses on underrepresentation of racial and ethnic groups in marine and fisheries related science professions. My first quarter as a Malouf Scholar has been full of data collection, in the form of semi-structured interviews with participants, in marine and fisheries related fields, across different racial and ethnic backgrounds and career levels. My interviews typically start out with me asking my participants to describe their career journey, which I thought would be an appropriate prompt for me to introduce myself in this blog…so here it goes!

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Can you describe your career journey thus far?

Brittany King: Growing up, I always lived near water. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area but often took The Bay for granted. At an early age, it was hard to see more than just water, but that all changed in middle school. In my 8th grade science class, I saw a picture of a scuba diver with an organism in her hand and below it said she was a marine biologist. Until then, I had never heard of a marine biologist. but that day I went home and told my mom that I wanted to become one, not knowing anything about the occupation except that they studied a world that was so close and yet so far from my understanding.

For college, I attended Hampton University, a historically black college, which gave me the opportunity to meet amazing people, who also wanted to learn more about the marine environment. During my time at Hampton I participated in various research projects and experiences. One of my greatest experiences occurred while volunteering at the Virginia Aquarium. Through an after-school outreach program called Mentoring Young Scientists, I mentored a group of middle school students, and helped them to develop yearlong coastal trends projects. At the conclusion of each year, the students presented their projects to the public at the aquarium’s coastal trends weekend. Seeing each week how excited the students were to learn about marine habitats and their effects on them, helped me develop an interest in how coastal communities’ impact coastal habitats, and the importance of community outreach and education. 

Looking back on my time as an undergrad, I realize now that many of my experiences during that time have played a significant role in my career decisions and my current research interest. In addition to sparking an interest in community outreach, it influenced my current interest in underrepresentation. While at Hampton I was exposed to people from a variety of backgrounds, all interested in marine and environmental science. However, outside of my Hampton bubble, as a person of color entering the marine and environmental science professional space, it was hard to ignore the lack of diversity.

The first time it really hit me was when I started my master’s program, which I often refer to as grad school “Part I,” at the Bren School of Environmental Science and Management at the University of California, Santa Barbara. To this day, I still have a vivid memory of walking into the courtyard for orientation, scanning the group of students and realizing that of the 70+ students in my cohort, I was the only African American. This trend continued after graduating from UC Santa Barbara, when I spent a year as a 2013 Knauss Fellow, and again, of the 50 fellows selected that year, I was the only African American. Both of these experiences resulted in me developing s strong interest in underrepresentation in marine, fisheries and environmental science related fields.

After the Knauss fellowship and prior to returning to graduate school “Part II” at OSU, I stepped out of the marine and fisheries science realm and worked as a community organizer. During this time, I was able to reevaluate my career decisions and aspirations before finding my current position in the F&W human dimension lab at OSU. The lack of diversity throughout my early career journey, coupled with my desire to pursue a career related to marine and fisheries science, has led to my current interests and dissertation research. I believe that to better understand how to recruit and retain individuals from underrepresented communities, it is important to examine the factors that influence individuals to pursue and persist in careers in marine and fisheries science professions, while identifying whether any of these key factors are unique to individuals from underrepresented populations.

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I’ve spent the past year interviewing people with a focus on how their experiences and social identities have influenced their career decisions and career experiences. As the interview portion of my research wraps up in the winter quarter, I’m looking forward to taking a deeper dive into the data.

Stay tuned!