Last Wednesday, I attended a self-esteem workshop that all Power Up Challengers were invited to.  While some points were obvious, there were some points that (although they resonated with me) had not sunk in yet.

Self Esteem comes from prior experiences, interpersonal relationships, and previous successes and failures. All of these combine to become your ‘inner voice’…or sometimes ‘inner critic.’  Some of the consequences of low-esteem are anxiety, stress, loneliness, depression, tension, and under achievement…not things anyone would want to have.

Team-Building Retreat with SIFE members (all standing on a 3X3 board)

However, when you have a healthy self-esteem, you don’t compare yourself to others negatively, you consider yourself valuable, can give and receive compliments, accept yourself and others, take calculated risks, tolerate frustration and accept the fact that you aren’t perfect. (The latter has been the hardest for me.)

I’ve found with myself and close friends that many of us focus on what is wrong, what we need to fix, rather than what we accomplish and do well. I know that I am proud of myself for getting enough sleep, for going vegetarian, and for working towards a better comprehensive health.

However, my first inclination when something positive happens to me is for my inner voice to downplay and discredit the achievement. For example, I received an award through one of my colleges…it’s a pretty great award because they only choose like 10 high-achieving students out of the University. As soon as I got it, I was pretty happy…but the first thought I had was “wow, that was luck,” “I wonder why they picked me” and “hmm…might not have had many applicants.” There were no righteous fist pumps or anything of the like. When I apply for something and don’t get it…I think “I must not have been good enough…maybe next time.”

My negative inner voice is not something I’m proud of…but now that I’m aware of it, I’m working vigorously to change it. In the future, it will not be an issue. Many people have a negative inner voice…I am not the only one. I had always thought my inner voice encouraged me to go on and try again, not hold me back and be fearful of failure.

You never notice how positive or negative you are until you pay attention to what you’re saying and how it affects you.

Next time you achieve a feat or deal with a failure…LISTEN to that inner voice

…and identify what you are telling yourself.

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This entry was posted on Monday, February 15th, 2010 at and is filed under Alexa Carey, Fire Breathing Beaver Squad. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.