I’m tired. I’ve been running from one meeting/class/workout to the next all month long. My motivation is low and my stress is high. Between 3 jobs, graduate school, and attempting to maintain a relationship with my partner and friends –I’m pooped. My poor kitty is neglected. My house is a wreck. My friends are wondering if
I’m alive. My partner is frustrated. How do people have children in the middle of all this? I have no idea. I know that spring break is just around the corner, but I still have to survive another month of chaos. On the upside, working out really truly does improve my mood and decrease my stress. The last few times I went to work out I had to drag myself to the gym, and I was grumbling the whole way there. But afterwards I felt great and ready to tackle the next challenge. There’s not a whole lot of pleasure or joy in my life right now, and I think that may be contributing to my stress. I’ve decided to write down a list of 20 things that give me joy, decorate it (one of my joyful things is art projects) and then hang it in my bathroom mirror. Hopefully it will remind me to incorporate some of these positive self care tactics on a day to day basis. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Daily Things that Bring me Joy
1. Bright colors
2. Romantic comedies
3. Satire
4. Musicals
5. Cuddling with kitty
6. Laughing with Dave
7. Making plans with Dave
8. Singing
9. Dancing and playing dress up
10. Art projects
11. When I’ve helped someone and they tell me about it
12. Hot tubs
13. Coloring books
14. Massages
15. Compliments
16. Cleverness
17. Flirting
18. Talking about sexuality – and listening to other people talk about sexuality
19. Buying scented candles, lotions, and sprays
20. Giggle fits with my mom

Picture of My Ma and Honey

This past weekend was a difficult one. I fell off the food wagon, and since I was going, I went big. Suffice it to say, there was enough Cold Stone to warrant a “fearless and searching moral inventory” in the morning. I felt sick all weekend. By the time I had come to the part for making amends, my partner had come to the part for flipping her proverbial biscuit. I guess I’ve been driving her a little cuckoo with all this obsessing about diet and exercise – apparently I’m kind of a nightmare to live with right now. She says she doesn’t love the fast food and/or the ongoing three way that has developed between me and the only men in my life – Ben and Jerry – but this isn’t better. After some resistant consideration, I think there’s probably a measure of truth to that. So I’m going to try this again, but this time with a sprinkling of moderation. I want to keep walking, but I’m putting off the jogging indefinitely to allow the blister on my inner thighs to heal from the last time I jogged 3 miles. Besides, the other night I woke up to go to the bathroom and my knee literally gave out. Since I was still half asleep and I tried to get up again but kept falling, it was scary. That is the kind of cosmic illustration that the universe has to provide for me to get it. I need to stop killing myself – this momentum won’t keep up. I will, inevitably, just keep falling. We know, both statistically and from experience, that enacting lasting change has to be a slow process. If the change is going to become routine, it has to come a piece at a time. So I’m going to give myself 3-6 months of continuous success with one change before I move on to another one. I am going to keep the process more simple. Exercise only once a day, not 2 or 3 times. I’m going to keep up the regular exercise and no fast food, but not be as crazy about the other food I’m consuming. No more counting every calorie. If I want a cookie, I’m going to eat one. I don’t want to end up back in the arms of my mistress(es) Ben & Jerry, so I think I’ll keep eating the low-cal/frozen yogurt stuff, just to be on the safe side. Finally, I’m still going to write down what I eat because it helps create a more mindful sense of what I’m consuming and when. Hopefully, in the end, that will help me understand why – whether in feast or in famine – food is so often consuming me.

Here are the members of Fire Breathing Beaver Squad

Ken Westfall, Captain

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Danté Holloway

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Abbe Lougee

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Mathew Richardson

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Nate Bodie

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Alexa Carey

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Virginia Martin

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Liz Etherington

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People can change. Change is often a slow and painful process, but in the end, it is possible. Not long ago, I heard a simple fact about the nature of people that strongly resonates for me. That fact was basically the principle of cognitive dissonance or “People are unhappy if the ideal version of themselves or their value system doesn’t match up with who they perceive they are or their actions.” This principle is essentially what motivated me to apply for the Power Up Challenge. Over the summer, I wrote down my ideal, perfect self. I titled it, “If I were the person I wanted to be I would…”: This list included my attitude, employment, nutrition habits, travel aspirations, volunteer work, and what my ideal body would look like. I realized that I may not ever achieve all of these ideals, that is why they are ideals and not realities. I also realized though, I wasn’t even trying to actively live most of that list. My ideal self and my ideal value system did not come close to being reflected in my enacted self and my enacted value system. In intending to become a counselor, I am challenged to ethically ask people to make radical changes in their lives. I can not do that while I remain unwilling to do it myself.
Now, working toward making some of those changes, the closer I get to seeing my ideal self reflected, the happier I am. I feel proud of myself and I’m in a better mood, and I’m not quite as cynical. Even though I haven’t seen many tangible changes from the work I’m doing yet, I’m trying, and for now that has to be enough.

This week has been full of challenges and surprises. Staying active has been the easiest part, with walking groups, sessions with my trainer, and friends recruited into walking buddies, I’m grateful for all the help and encouragement. Exercising with other people has provided a lot of motivation for me. I’m a pretty social personality and I feel guilty about flaking out on people. The walking/jogging group has been relatively successful with a few people showing up each time, and that’s been encouraging. My jogging range has expanded considerably in just two weeks, so I’m excited to see what the next month brings.

Twice a week, I meet with my personal trainer, which has been a good experience. She’s a little hyper though, in the way that personal trainers tend to be. I suspect crack but I have no hard evidence – yet. Being not chemically enhanced, it’s hard to keep up with her. I’m turning purple, hardly maintaining the ability to breath, and she’s rattling on about adding an extra set next week.

Twice a week, I do sunset yoga, which is my favorite activity so far. At the end of this week, I started water jogging at the suggestion of a friend. I was a little skeptical because I didn’t feel like I was getting much of a workout while I was in the water, but this morning my butt muscles are burning so now I’m a believer.

The hardest part of the week has been my the changes to my eating habits. I started this change a week before the official power up challenge, so it’s been two weeks. I didn’t have any cravings or desires for any of my old comfort food until this Thursday. My workplace brought in 5 different types of homemade cookies (I’m not exaggerating). I’ve also had to fight off the neon call of the fast food evangelists. They beckon me in the night, and while the spirit is in fact willing, the flesh is weak.

My partner informs me that the third week of any major change of habit (smoking, eating, exercising) is the most difficult. Apparently it takes 3 weeks for your brain to cement a new habit, and right before it starts to cement your brain will most strongly resist the change. So this week I’m going to be extra kind to myself and just try to get through it.

I’ve made a decision to stop with the weekly weigh ins. It’s too discouraging to cut your calories in half, exercise every day, and not see direct results reflected on the scale. So, I’m going to save the weigh-ins for milestone like the beginning of a new month.

Have a great week! **Virginia

Hello there!  My name is Virginia Martin. Glad you could join me!

I joined Power Up to make some pretty serious lifestyle changes. My family has a long, lovely history of disordered eating and horrible relationships with our bodies. In a nutshell, I would like to stop abusing my body, physically and mentally. Stop saying mean things to myself and stop putting bad food in my mouth with no physical activity. I’ve already lapsed into diet mode, where I start thinking to myself “it will be so nice when this diet is over and I can eat (fill in the blank with some crappy food product). But I don’t want this end, and I don’t want to lose a bunch of weight in 6 months just to gain it all back again.

Changes I’ve made so far:

1. Stopped eating fast food
2. Stopped eating meat
3. Started exercising every day
4. Replaced all my junk snack food with healthy snack food
5. Ate recommended daily servings of fruits and veggies every day

I already feel much better – and I haven’t had cravings for my old food yet. The big challenge I have faced is going to Dixon Recreation Center. As a big girl, gyms are pretty much my nemesis. But I pay student fees too, dammit, so I’m going to use the gym. My observations:

Things I don’t really love about Dixon Rec

1. There are no fat people. Sure you see a chubby person here or there, but for the most part, its 20 something athletes. I would likely feel uncomfortable in a gym regardless of the company, but it would still be nice to have a few more out-of- shape people to share the experience.
2. Girls work out in full make-up and jewelry. Not all of them mind you, but enough to make me think about it. When I work out, I look like I have an unfortunate contagious rash that covers my face and neck, and creates the illusion that a heart attack may occur right then and there. I’m not here for the party, I’m here to sweat. Sweat to the oldies, sure, but sweat none the less.
3. I’m swimming in a sea of testosterone. The male to female ratio is way off, or at least it is when I visit. It would be nice to have a “woman only” time, if only for an hour or two a week. I (bravely) wore my bathing suit out into the pool area, only to be greeted by a group of meatheads in the hot tub pointing and laughing at me. It could have been a scene from a lifetime movie of the week. So cliché.

Things I really like about Dixon Rec
1. The facilities are amazing, and they make me a little hot. Beautiful pools, hot tubs (although I don’t feel safe or comfortable using them now), several workout and aerobics rooms, indoor track, as well as a variety of sport courts and an amazing rock gym. OSU has poured a nice chunk of change into the rec center, and it shows.
2. I went to sunset yoga tonight – which is decievingly docile in name, but all in all a great experience. By the end I was unbelievably limber. This one’s a keeper.
3. I’ve experienced both slow and busy times, and I have to say, I prefer the busier times. The energy of all those people working out is kind of neat and it helps me push myself harder. Sure, I’m susceptible to the pressures of group dynamics. I am compelled none the less.
I’ve started a walking group for the athletically challenged – all bodies and abilities are welcome. We meet in front of Dixon Rec on Tuesdays at 9am and Thursdays at 2pm. If the weather is good, we’ll walk on the outside track. If not, we’ll go inside. Hope to see you there! **Virginia