I was sitting in a meeting at work the other day and my cell phone rings, I look at the caller i.d. and it says “Child Care.”  The first thought in my mind is sh** there goes the rest of my day.  We all know why, because my child is probably sick and needs to go home and possibly the doctor.  I immediately call my husband and he heads to get her and we orchestrate a “trade off” for later in the afternoon.  Normally I would put work on hold and go tend to my “sick child” however we all have certain times a year when we just need to be at work that is my time of year right now.  I am lucky enough that I have a supervisor who incredibly understands and trusts that I will get done what I need regardless of my actual physical presence in the office.  However on this day/week in particular I needed to physically be in the office.

Later on when my husband and I have our trade off, I give my mom a call on the ride home to do a little venting.   I would like to note that since becoming a mom, I have noticed that while my mom and I are a lot alike we have distinct differences on what it means to be a working mom.  I feel as though for her, she lives to work and I just want to work to live.  Her response to my situation is that “well you just may have to work a little harder and maybe after hours or go in early in order to make up for any lost time”…..Wait hold Up, WHAT!  Why do I have to work “harder” because my child needs me?  Do I really need to work extra hours in order to so my worth to my organization?  I don’t think so.  I am constantly alarmed and frankly ticked by the American work mentality.  We reward those that work the hardest and longest (regardless of productivity sometimes) yet in the same breath we curse parents (mainly mothers) for not staying at home, breastfeeding, or just not spending enough time.  The worst part is we women are our worst critics.  I feel lucky that I enjoy my job, I look forward to going to it each day.  I love the people I work with and who I serve in my job. That doesn’t mean I don’t have stress or days when I would like to walk away (heck we probably have those days as parents). But the good most definitely outweighs the bad.  THEREFORE I hate getting the question, “so do you work because your family needs it financially?”  Ummm…none of your business….I work because I enjoy it and I feel it makes me a better mother, I also happen to work because my family benefits financially and when you are having to buy 5-8 plane tickets a year (none of our family lives locally) you bet we need two incomes.

Obviously I did not spew this all on my mother; I merely said “I think we have different opinions on that mom” and then changed the subject to something that we could both agree on.  After all, after a stressful day the last thing I needed was a debate with my mom.  My take away: One thing I continually work on as a mother, wife and professional…..  I will NOT feel guilty for not being superwoman.  When my child needs me I will be there with them and present with them, and I REFUSE to feel bad for not being at work and vice versa.  We will see how that goes…