Choosing the project: Maybe the hardest part?

Overall, I’m excited.

I think one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the course of this degree is that it’s important to have a goal. It’s easy to just create a ‘to-do’ list of assignments, show up to lectures, cross the t’s and dot the i’s and then move on to the next course. But at the end of the day, I am enrolled (And paying…) for these courses, so while there might be a path of least resistance, I want to make sure that even if it’s an assignment or project that I absolutely loath, (And trust me…there have been a few…) it is important to me to find something valuable that I can take out of it.

I went into choosing a project with this same approach. Unfortunately I am not one of those Computer Science auteurs who dreams in code and is able to break down computers blindfolded while writing their own operating system. I didn’t come into this class with some grand idea of innovation that I and three friends could build over the course of a term. I think Computer Science is a field rife with opportunities to feel like an imposter, and especially for someone like me who came in late to the game it can feel like an almost impossible distance to cross to even just level the playing field.

And this is mostly because my coding journey really just started around two years ago. Before then I had almost no knowledge beyond the average person of anything related to programming, computers, data types, lists….I could go on. And so even as I stand here on the edge of getting my degree I still have those doubts of “am I doing the right thing? Can I compete with some of the other people out there in this field?”.

But the more I think about it, the more I know that this is the wrong approach. It’s coming up on two years now of working in a full time job, trying to provide for my family, all the while taking the necessary time to sit down and apply myself to the concepts I’m learning. I am much further along in this journey than I give myself credit for. And regardless of whether I’m part of the team that designs the next Chatgpt or Instagram, I’ll still be able to look back on this time in my life and think “I did it”.

And this brings me to the capstone project. As I looked through the list of available options over, and over, and over again, I kept coming back to that idea of “Did I learn enough to do this project?”. For awhile I was almost paralyzed with doubt, wondering if I had taken advantage of enough office hours or guest speakers. But then I thought back to who I was when I first started this program. Every single time I was presented with new concepts or technologies that I didn’t understand I was able to get over that hurdle. I studied, and researched, and applied myself as much as I could, and in the end I came out the other side a more skilled and knowledgeable person than I had been before. Not just in Computer Science, but I became a better person in terms of my ability to approach the unknown, in being comfortable with with being lost, and confident that I could find my way out.

So, with that in mind, I took another look at the project page. And this time instead of thinking “What can I do?”, I began to make myself think “What do I want to do?”. For me at least, that made all the difference.